my own scrooge

finally, it's here! we had midnight mass a couple of hours before christmas, and come midnight, it was the usual fiesta at home. i was seriously still under my diet, so it was all no-carb, meaning i couldn't feast on pasta last night. it was ok though, i really can't afford to gain some pounds coz i know i'd have trouble trying to lose them anyway.

the only bad thing about last night is me, ruining my own christmas. i was only intending to get a bit tipsy (because usually my uncle opens some bottles of champagne) but last night, he opened a vodka. so there i was, downing shots. i got home, a bit tipsy already, and as if that wasn't enough....!!!! i tried to finish the lambanog we've had stored here at home... BY MYSELF. now that, my friends, is NOT a good idea AT ALL! i wanted to call people to greet them.. heck i really just wanted to talk. i felt like i was gonna go insane if i stayed there drinking alone. first i called someone i should really be trying to get out of my system, because he is not healthy at all for me. then after that short call, i called up myra to greet her and her family, and then, i called up rico to greet him too. then i kept on downing more and more shots, and kaput! i was out already. wasted. sabog. super! i couldn't remember a thing afterwards! i'm just thankful it's rico i'm talking to, and no one else. i think i called up more people using my *gulp* mom's phone, but as far as i can recall from my vague memories of this morning, they were "harmless" calls. geez-us, alcohol has never failed to deceive me ever since. and the really yucky part is the puking part. yes yes, i was all over myself... or rather, undigested leftovers of that night. eew to the eeeewest eew. i still managed to go up to my room (not even knowing how) and found my brother there. my sister, apparently was too grossed out to sleep beside me so she exchanged places with my brother. god, i can't imagine what my future husband would have to go through. i have to marry someone like andy garcia's character in that movie when a man loves a woman.

when i woke up, the worst hangover of my life. great. i just ruined my own christmas! i went through my christmas day feeling soooo hungover, it was so bad. i tried not to piss the people around me since i didn't want to get a beating from them. the minute i stepped out of bed and realized i had to take a bath because my hair was just.... ok too gross to even say here... my world was just spinning! i couldn't even stand still in the bathroom. and from my mother's reports, i puked on 3 throwpillows, the floor (which i don't know who cleaned up, my brother i think), and even my cellphone. i broke a glass, finished the bottle, AND.... just messed up my day. we went to san juan to have lunch there, and after, i took a nap just to lessen the dizziness. i woke up about 2 hours after to go to the cemetery to visit my lola. oh it was so nice, the sun was just setting, and the full moon was already up, had this pink haze around it. so nice. i wish i had a camera at that moment.

we got back to san juan and lolo had visitors. we were going out to have dinner, so we had to wait until the visitors left. had dinner at this chinese restaurant in makati. my dad wanted ice cream at mcdo, so we drove to paseo to get some. while waiting at the drive-thru, we found out there was none, the ice cream machine wasn't working. too bad. the good thing was, i got to drive back home! yehey! i haven't been driving for some time now, so it was good to take authority of the wheel again. there, dropped lolo off at san juan, and since we were all tired already, went straight home afterwards. for the first time in history, this is the only christmas where we didn't go to relatives. first time.

tonight, i caught the farewell special of sex and the city. it just made me sad, the show is really ending. best show i've probably seen in my whole life, i've never seen such reality, such friendship, such relationships, such glamour, such fashion, such sex, and such attitude all in one show. i've never been more prouder of being a woman, and most importantly, of being SINGLE! as kim cattral said, "before, being single meant not having anybody want you. now, it meant being sexy!" how true is that? and, it made me fall in love with new york more. someday. i will be there too. someday.

merry christmas darling

no, i'm not being a scrooge, i just don't really feel christmas lately. strangely speaking. however, i have been doing some serious party-ing the last couple of weeks, i guess that's the best thing about this time of year. you have absolutely all the excuse in the world to party, to splurge, to shop til you drop, and most importantly, to overindulge.

december 18 // saturday

the ca1 party, organized by, yours truly... moi. it was so frustrating that we can't get ONE frickin' date for the party, so we just decided to have it on the 18th, exactly a week ago. as usual, we had it at greenbelt since that's the most convenient place to dine out. so we did, we ate at cafe bola (again!!!!). not a lot of people made it, but frankly speaking, i preferred it that way. it is selfish to say, but having the entire class come in one event is like trying to hoard a school of fish in one net. what's important is that the people important to ME came, and that means a lot already. jabs, claire, del, gabs, jenny, sarah, rico, nico, and fifi made it to dinner. we were thinking of what to do after, there were SO many people at greenbelt that saturday night. we decided to go karaoke-ing and had it at red box. i haven't been there before, and it's such a great place! we were there singing our lungs out from about past 10pm, up to 2am. em made it there, and around midnight, jason came along! we haven't seen him for so long, it was so nice to finally see him again! and it was a good thing he was there at greenbelt, i didn't have his number so i couldn't tell him about the party. so there, really tired after, got home at around 4am. whew. talk about serious all-nighters. still, greenbelt was very much alive during that time.

december 20 // monday

monday night, i had dinner with june and libby at italianni's. after so looong, i was able to eat there again! i love italianni's so much. anyways, i haven't seen libby for ages, so it was good to catch up with her. it's so impossible to get a hold of her when classes are on, she's practically getting eaten up by her law books. and tep dropped by! libby and i haven't seen her since graduation! she worked somewhere in makati at a call center, so she was able to hangout at greenbelt for a while. i am so amazed that i still had money after that dinner, i seriously thought after last saturday, i would be on all fours begging for money. so there, hung out at seattle's best. had my FAVORITE strawberry milkshake... it's soooo good. it was getting late, and i had work the next day (our last day before christmas break comes in) so at around 11, we called it a night. yum yum, i just love pigging out.

december 21 // tuesday

our last day of work. we were gonna have our christmas party that night, plus knowing we were gonna have our breaks, spirits were up the entire day. bash and i decided to go there first to find us a table already, there were supposedly plenty of us there, us 6 plus dates. well ok, i didn't have any (grrrr...) but they all had. and guess where we had dinner! surprise surprise... italianni's! i was trying not to eat too much, carbo-festing again and all. maxie was there too, as bash's date of course. after dinner, we played mini-golf at the fort, my first time to play golf. haha it was so fun! we were playing against each other, the "breeders" as what they called us straight people, versus the gay men. i had no idea we were playing for so long, because we ended at around 1am already! bash, marko and i still have no gifts for the bosses, but we thought of having a caricature done of them, so at that very ungodly hour, bash and i had to go back to the office to get pictures of them printed out. imagine that. got home before 3am, and was so tired like hell.

december 22 // wednesday

my first off. i feel like i'm back in school, having my christmas break too. today though, we were all excited at home because my dad's arriving today! i can't wait! christmas is gonna be so fun! we were at the airport by 4pm, he was arriving at 430 something. i brought a book with me, i'm currently reading the da vinci code, and it's just SOOOO amazing. i am blown away, i'm having difficulty putting the book down when i start reading. so there, as we were waiting, at least i get to do something. good thing he arrived on time, the last time he went home (for my lola's funeral last february), his flight was really delayed, my mom and i waited for him for like, an hour. so there, happy family again this christmas!

december 23 // thursday

i met myra this afternoon to give my gift to her at robinson's galleria, because that's literally where her office is. and i had to do some really last minute shopping, i still had no gift for my dad and my sister. i was looking through the tiangge section called 50th avenue, and for some strange reason, i actually had no idea what to give! and this is my sister i'm talking about, i could take a look at one store and know exactly what she would've wanted, but that day, i was just... blank. i ended up buying her earrings instead, and for my dad, a shirt. myra treated me to dinner at chef d'angelo and had salad each, and it's cool that i'm sticking to my diet plan, which i hope i'll be able to keep until next year rolls in. the no-carb atkins diet. and i'm also starting to work out again, because really, i CANNOT take the flabs anymore! and apparently, sarah and rico are planning a galera outing sometime in january so there, really have to keep fit to be able to work it at the beach! there, after dinner, we couldn't stay for long... aside from the humongous throng of people doing their own last-minute shoppings, myra had to fly all the way to valenzuela, and i to manila. finally! my christmas list is done!

december 24 // friday

the entire clan went to duty free today. i was kinda hesitant to buy chocolates since chockies always instigate zits, but what the heck! ooohh and that's a lotta sugar too... hmm so i'm really fighting the urge not to eat too much. after duty free, we drove all the way to quezon city to meet up with my dad's co-worker's wife (ok give you 20 seconds to figure that out) to give her some stuff from her husband, including a dozen roses that we had to buy first at dangwa. when we got home, i was so sleepy so i decided to take a nap, just to energize myself for the night ahead.

my gosh, i can't believe it's almost here. it's only hours away, and still i'm having trouble trying to have a feel of it. and this is the only thing i've been waiting for the entire year, but now it's practically on my face, i still can't see it. it's just sad. i wonder if it's true what they say, how as you get older, you feel the season less and less. do you have to be a kid just to know it's there?

hoo-how, i guess christmas won't always be for everyone. there will always come a time when it'll just pass you by, just like that.

samantha welsh

... was my 10-year-old second cousin who i have never met. she was the daughter of tita pichi, my mom's cousin who migrated to the states even before my mom got married and had kids. so in short, i haven't met these people at all. but the past few years, my mom started to get in touch with tita pichy, and her other cousins in the states through the magic of the internet connection and electronic mail. it never really affected my life in any way knowing that i have long-lost relatives in america, because it's not like these people actually changed anything drastucally in my life. it's just nice to know there are actually people i'm related to living that far away. in fact, the first thing that came to my mind was "cool. now i know people who i can stay with if i do go to america." selfish me.

every year, i started getting birthday and christmas cards from the welshes (well, from tita pichi and sam mostly), and if we were lucky, we'd get extra 5 bucks as gifts (either as birthday or christmas presents). at the end of every note, it would also be signed by samantha in her still illegible, 2nd grade penmanship. i thought it was so sweet of her to be so involved with relatives whom she has only met through handwriting. but hearing stories about her from my mom sounded like sam was the ideal daughter, she was doing great in school, she was already very much oriented in sports (she was an aspiring equestrian), the arts, geography (i remember a time she spent summer touring europe and staying in germany and would send us postcards from there... lucky kid!), and she had always wanted to set foot on the philippines one day to explore part of her roots, she was always been doing really good academically. in general, it always seemed like she was such a good girl.

WAS.

my mom broke the news to me in the oddest way though, as she was stretched on the floor doing her daily morning work-out. the way she started it by saying "may bad news ako..." top-of-mind thought was that one of the dogs in the compound died or something, followed by the possibility of my brother running away from home, or worst-case scenario, stopping school and eloping with his girlfriend. but it was none of that. it was something else i wouldn't have imagined ever.

samantha welsh died the morning of december 8, 2004 (ohio time) at the age of 10, apparently while she was feeding the horses in the barn after breakfast. it isn't confirmed if she fell off the horse or if she was kicked by one. either way, she was found unconscious on the ground and was DOA by the time she was rushed to the hospital. it was much too tragic to hear, and i lost my train of thought for a good 2 minutes. as if some broken record, i kept asking the same question... "si sam? sam anak ni tita pichi? sam na bata? sam? anak ni tita pichi?" ironically, the latest christmas card samantha sent my mom had a horse on the cover, which arrived in the mail a few days before her death. i couldn't piece it out. she was young. she couldn't die. young people can't die. that's always been how i see it. the youth are invincible. sam was perfect, and just like that, she's gone? i'm still feeling incredulously surprised about the whole thing, mainly because it's things like that that scare the shit out of me. imagine going through your daily routine one morning, and in just a snap, everything makes a complete turn, and it's NEVER gonna be the same. i can't imagine how tita pichi must be feeling right now. what's worse is that sam was her only daughter. she has a stepson from tito michael's previous marriage, but sam was her one and only offspring. i will probably never understand the depths of a mother's love until i become one, but i'm pretty sure it's enormously, heartbreakingly hard to deal with the loss of your own child. the way my life has been going, i have been lucky enough that aside from one very close relative (lola zeny), two great-grandmothers and others who i've never really known, the only deaths i've had to deal with and which has affected me as much were the deaths of my beloved dogs through the years.

it just feels depressing. we still have yet to meet her; up until her death, she only existed to me in handwritings and yearbook pictures that she sent us, toothless grins and all. and it's nice that we were part of her life in some way, she never ever forgot to send us something for special occasions. i'm guessing it was mostly tita pichi's influence, but the fact that she was so involved with it makes it even more hearfelt. it got me thinking last night, why do the really worthy people leave this planet sooner? why is God leaving the world with all the worthless, scumbag ones? (yeah i'm speaking for myself too) samantha could've been a really great individual when she grows up, she could've made a difference. i pictured her as one of those do-gooders who would finish high school with honors, would go to one of those Ivy League U's, make it BIG with her career when she gets older, get married, be the perfect wife, perfect mother, and would still remain to be the perfect daughter that she's always been. it wasn't far from happening.

well, now it is.

i love you, i always have, and i always will

i feel a bit better already. it's saturday, and yeah, this is usually my time of the week. my day yesterday actually ended quite well. my mom got home about 4 already, so yeah, i totally missed meeting up with june, it was much too late. i thought i was gonna bum my entire friday, because my date with the gurps (del, jenny and claire) was cancelled that morning due to the non-existent storm. i got some good news though, myra got hired in summit!! i was waayy so happy for her, and summit is really a cool company (from all the magazines they publish and events they throw, i wouldn't mind working there either.) she starts monday so yey! at least my angelic prowess is working on others. i called her up to congratulate her and just... burn each other's phone lines like we always do. at about 6pm, jenny called and was making me come down to makati to meet up because apparently, all 3 of them were there! coincidentally speaking, they all sorta bumped into each other, so they thought it was ok to push the gimmick through since the weather cleared up already. which means i had to move like the flash to dress and make myself up and head all the way to greenbelt. got there at 7:30, we caught bridget jones first, then hung out at seattle's best until midnight. see, my day wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be, thank God. REALLY. it's just funny because all we talked about at seattle's best was about love love love... or lack thereof. it's even funny that we were all singletons watching bridget jones, picturing yet another non-existent dreamguy like mark darcy who could possibly be somewhere in the same universe as we are proved to be really depressing.

today, i met up with myra first thing in the morning at robinson's place to watch bridget jones again. i just feel right watching that kind of movie with my single girl friends. we ate first, and as per our mandatory conversations, talked about he-who-must-be-named. hahaha sorry i can't help it, or rather, WE can't help it. you can never go against 2 girls head-over-heels crazily adoring the same *existent, but obviously unattainable* guy. after the movie, i was craving for sweets (can you say SUGARLOADER?) so we had a doughnut at go nuts donuts *yum, strawberry glazed!* and after, bought this month's issue of seventeen because it's he-who-must-be-named on the cover. oh gawd we are a couple of teenyboppers!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

so what, we're single anyway. geezus that didn't make sense at all.

i love tonight's episode of sex and the city. miranda has a life-changing realization while looking into a possible house in brooklyn that she didn't want to move into *apparently, manhattanites don't reside outside the city, especially not in places like brooklyn, or queens, etc.* but since she has to raise a family now, has no choice but to oblige. as steve tells her "it's not about you now. ... we're a family." she goes: "OMIGOD. I'M MARRIED." and smith!!! since samantha has cancer now and is starting to lose hair from chemo, considered having her hair shaven off. and as she was doing so in the bathroom before smith's movie premiere, smith comes in and catches her. and what did smith do?

he shaves off his head as well. gawd i swear, you can never find guys like these anymore. they're nothing but a figment of a single female TV writer's imagination. *sigh*

today is just SO wrong. my boss texted me last night not to go to work anymore, apparently because of the super storm, but come this morning, everything is so sunshiny already. it kinda ticked missing work, i feel like there's a MILLION things to accomplish, and here we are, at home, supposedly to shield ourselves from the raging typhoon, but where is it? i'm not really complaining, i'm glad it's gone! i just feel like the day was completely wasted.

i know i could've gone to work, but it was much too late when i realized that i should have (i was still thinking it was gonna pour this afternoon) but it didn't, so i just got myself a complete day-off, so to speak. *sigh* but yeah, i still called the office and got instructions to finish some stuff (although that meant having to deal with stuck-up corporate bitches who wouldn't give you the time of day... i mean c'mon we're all doing business here!). so that kinda made me feel bad.

and to top all the wrongness of this day, i was supposed to meet june at 3 this afternoon in galleria. i was all ready at about past 2, and when i was about to get money (i got my pay already and allowance and everything) but the thing is, i always let my mom keep it, just because i'm SO lousy when keeping my own money. and besides, she'd always keep it in a cashbox that i know the combination of, anyway. so i was about to go, when i couldn't open the cashbox. i called my mom to ask her how to get my money when she told me she stored it somewhere else locked and she got the key (she was in a hospital with my grandma), and so i had no choice but to NOT go. i felt sooo stuck. first the deal i was supposed to close with SMART that i just can't CAN'T do (because stupid contact bitch is oh-s0-busy to read proposal i sent her). argh. i swear pleaaase not today, i can't afford to break down and piece out my sorry life at this moment. it's fuckin' christmas and i'm supposed to be all giddy, that's always the routine. gawrsh.

it's a long weekend and i should be happy about it but for some reason, i'm really miserable! why can't i be the girl i always daydream about? that successful chick who LOVES what she's doing, is beautiful, wanted, and totally in control of her life? if i can only make a living fantasizing about different things, i'd be a millionnaire by now.

i had the weirdest dream last night.... that guy above was in it. (i know myra, this is really starting to get pathetic...) and he had that same gorgeous, heart-melting smile in my dream. it's just soooo weird, i knew it was all a dream, and i was actually stopping myself from waking up, saying it has to be real, if i open my eyes, everything will be gone. geezus, i woke up not knowing if i should be happy or force myself to go back to sleep, maybe the dream would resume. but it didn't, i had a different dream, this time i was pregnant. OH MAN.

i feel sick. just looking at someone so gorgeous, i almost feel like throwing up.

there has been a LOT going on, i just haven't found time to write about them here. like sarah's party way back 2 sundays ago, or my escapade with sarah and rico sometime last week. it's just been really crazy sometimes, i wonder if i'm actually doing the right thing, or inviting trouble, or both.

anyways, very recently speaking, i met up with some of the girls last night at greenbelt after work. claire just got back from bicol (she got bronchitis for a while), and still very much heartbroken about last relationship. del and jenny were also there. i had to bring our latest talent/model/officemate max with me just because she was getting bored at the office and had to wait for JP to finish stuff (they sorta live in the same place), which usually takes forever so i decided to just invite her, and perhaps her boyfriend micah (yeah we have the same name) would come over. so she did, and eventually, boyf came, and so after dinner (we were sooo in a tight budget... imagine starving girls trying to buy a below-100-peso dinner at greenbelt. some challenge, huh?), max and micah zoomed off to tralala, while us gurps stayed and talked some more. had coffee at starbucks after, they're giving out a track card for a limited 2005 planner. daym i'm gonna have to drink more coffee for this.

so there, talked a LOT, ended at around midnight, and realized there was work tomorrow so we decided to call it a night. we're supposed to meet up again tomorrow night to catch bridget jones' diary: the edge of reason, but apparently, the storm wouldn't allow us to. work was actually suspended today, so it was all good. at least i wasn't caught in the middle of the gusty winds and whatnot and didn't have trouble going home.

it's cold (brrrrr). *sigh* great dream. wouldn't mind sleeping for the rest of my life if i dreamt like that everytime. teehee *

i'm not ok. i don't feel good. i'm not ok. what is it with today?

i feel awful, i feel like getting out of my skin and getting out of here, going to God-knows-where, sitting under a big tree with the perfect view of the mountain and no one around.

what is it i want??

argh. stupid quarter-life crisis. maybe if i take a shower, everything will be ok?

must be the rain. where have all the colors gone?

the best and most provocative of his work. i will probably faint when i meet and shake this man's hand in person.
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maria

i'm currently reading a book at the moment, and i'm loving every page of it. 11 minutes by paulo coelho has got to be his best work. well ok ok, there's always the alchemist and i did pick up a few truths from that book, but i just feel that i totally relate to the character in this book, maria. she's a small-town brazilian girl, and after a few chapters in the book, i love her already. she's naive but fiery, there's a scared child within her but she hides that from the world because she wants to show that she's a strong woman. she wants to see the world through her own eyes, she's ready to take on anything, to try things she hasn't tried before, but her innocence prevents her from seeing all these harsh realities everywhere. she ends up hurt and lonely, but there's always hope in her, that somehow, things will turn out fine and she'll get herself out of every fix.

that is so ME.

here's an excerpt from her "journal" as she ventures into switzerland, a land she's never heard of up until she traveled to rio de janeiro by herself. reading how she thinks and views things, i can already tell she and i could be the same person....

"from maria's diary, one night when she lacked the courage to go out, to live or to continue waiting for the phone call that never came:

i spent today outside a funfair. since i can't afford to fritter my money away, i thought it best to watch other people. i stood for a long time by the roller coaster, and i noticed that most people get on it in search of excitement, but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop.

what do they expect? having chosen adventure, shouldn't they be prepared to go the whole way? or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot?

at the moment, i'm far too lonely to think about love, but i have to believe that it will happen, that i will find a job and that i am here because i chose this fate. the rollercoaster is my life; life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it's taking chances, falling over and getting up again; it's mountaineering; it's wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don't manage it.

it isn't easy being far from my family and from the language in which i can express all my feelings and emotions, but, from now on, whenever i feel depressed, i will remember that funfair. if i had fallen asleep and suddenly woken up on a roller coaster, what would i feel?

well, i would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend, wanting to get off. however, if i believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. it becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, i must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement."

- paulo coelho, 11 minutes

beautiful.

when bizarre turns surreal

i had a most... shall i say, odd night tonight. i went home from greenbelt powerbooks to pass time, my boss noni dropped me off from the studio where we had to arrange a new radio ad for HP (i get to do voice-over again! nyahaha!) so i just decided to chill-out at powerbooks for the meantime, being friday and i know how traffic would be. i ended up buying myself a book since the ENTIRE store is on SALE! and i'm almost done with the last shopaholic series installment, shopaholic ties the knot. and i must say, out of all the 3 books, this last one is the one i like the most. the main character, becky bloomwood, isn't as irritating and as ditzy as how she is in the first 2. so since i'm almost finished with that, i thought i ought to buy a new one to read. i bought 11 minutes by paulo coelho. i was opting for either mitch albom's five people you meet in heaven, or other coelho books that i haven't read yet... then i saw works by this author tracy chevalier, and i remember my friend jabs recommending her books to us in the mail, so i was scanning through it, and after a few pages, i just wanted to get it too! but the thing is, they're not in paperback, which would of course cost much cheaper, so i just thought i'd wait for that. if not, it'd be a nice xmas present for ME! hehe. there, after making the purchase, i decided to go home already, took a long bus to catch up on my reading.

when i got off in quiapo, i noticed that the church was open. now i know it was pretty late (about 10 already), but still, upon walking by it, i just had this weird urge to come in. first reason of all is out of sheer curiosity, i've been living my whole life near this town (exactly 5 minutes away by jeepney), yet i haven't, HAVEN'T been inside it at all! considering the last 4 years that i've been passing by quiapo to get to school, i mean the last 4 years made me just connect with that place. when i was younger, i used to think it was full of brooding criminals (well, it still is) and that i'd probably get mugged, or stabbed spontaneously if i walk through there, but of course, i got older, i think i'm more aware of what' s happening around me, and can pretty much take care of myself already so it really didn't bother me. i think it made me the streetsmart person that i am now. one who can survive the insanity of quiapo can pretty much survive any place in the planet. in fact, the entire ambience amuses me. all the madness everyday, people selling possibly anything you can think of, all the chaos, all these different people from different walks of life, i mean you're talking rich, middle-class, and the downright poor, all thrown in there, mingling with each other (well ok not the party-type mingling, but you know what i mean). they're all there. but anyways, that's not the point i'm driving at here.

i saw the church wide open, so i decided to step inside for the first time ever, and just see for myself what the church is really like. it was HUGE. high ceilings and pillars and everything. i decided to take a seat, honestly i don't really know what got into me to go in there, so what the heck, might as well pray. i was sitting down on this empty pew, i wasn't even praying, i was just marveling (well, not really, there's nothing much super about the whole place), but i was just looking around. suddenly, there's this streetkid who comes up to my side and places a scapular on my lap, obviously begging for something. i was looking at him sorrily because i didn't have anything to give him, well i did but i was too lazy to reach in my bag for my wallet. and besides, he was ruining the moment. so i ignored him and kept staring at the nazareno (my first time to see it too), but he was just standing there, waiting for something. of course i'm not that heartless to ignore him completely, so eventually i turned to him and nicely tried to turn him away. but he was just there, looking at me pleadingly for something, and made this hand gesture of putting food in his mouth, indicating that he he wanted to eat. i asked him if he had eaten anything (geez, stupid question... really now mica) and so, i had an even better idea! i decided to feed him! i was like "di ka pa kumain? tara kain tayo." at first he was hesitant to follow me, i was seriously thinking of punching him if he preferred money over food, i mean i'd be giving him even MORE than what i'd normally give in cash! but the thing was, he was with his siblings, 2 of them, and he didn't wanna go off with me (eew that sounded really wrong... sounded like we were eloping or something... *shudder* ok this is a CHILD i'm talking about here!) without his sibs. so i decided to invite them too. i made them choose where to eat, i know i still have enough money left, it's not like they have starbucks there. jollibee was closed already so we went to dunkin donuts instead. of course it was weird having all these people look really oddly at me, and probably thinking what's that chick doing?? but really, it felt so good. i didn't even feel guilty that i'm spending money at all. wow, now that's a first. so there we were, just eating. i had a donut, and i let the kids have sandwiches. i was trying to strike conversations with them and they were just really sweet. god i just love kids. i wish i never had to grow old, i love their innocence and just being... a child. but of course, i wouldn't have all this knowledge if i never left childhood. but still, i envy them. so much.

after that, we left, and they showed me where they were sleeping. this cardboard kariton-like box. honestly. what is this night all about??? i know there's depression and sadness and misfortune in the world, but it's another thing for it to be thrusted right to your face. all this realization, i mean i'm not always ready for these real-life truths. but i guess better they come now, when i'm still young and open to just about anything new and extraordinary. it was just... weird. nice... but weird.

i'm not really complaining, now that i think about it, there was something about me being somewhat "drawn" to that church. i dunnow, i've always wanted to go inside that church for the longest time, but it was just weird how it all turned out. i was just planning to sit and stare and pass time, then go up and leave after a while, but i ended up being sinner to saint in just a snap. amazing how things end up, especially when you least expect them to.

enjoying the 1st of LAUNCHcast radio's 7-day free trial on my messenger. for some reason, i'm having a flashback of a certain late-night conversation with a friend i've lost in touch with as he was humming the tune to the song i'm listening to right now, case's missing you. hmm. nothing much. just felt like sharing it.

again!!

i changed my layout! this is like, the 4th time already? yeah and this time, i did it all by myself!!!! man i feel really smart! hahaha, imagine having to comprehend all those html scripts and web whatnots that i've never ever understood, and now, voila! props to me, props to ME! hmm ok, got a bit carried away there, this is my first time to do such a thing, i'm not really the web designer type. i'm only keen on surfing it, not creating it, if you know what i'm saying. anyways, i'm gonna be enjoying this layout for a while, all from my own furrowing brows, heavy sighs, and deep concentration to make all this possible. *wink*

ok gotta bounce, have been working on this for hours....

going divi

it's been a while. honestly speaking, what's been keeping me from laying out thoughts right now is the fact that there's this big crack on my everyday road, i'm really trying to avoid talking about it for now. let's just say i'm a bit tad afraid of decisions, i always was. and now, there's this big one i have to come to terms with in a matter of days, and i'm still left with no clue on which to decide. hmm. doesn't really make sense. ergo, no point talking about it for now.

it's been a long weekend, and mostly i spent it at home. i was hoping it could be another trip to the beach, but i'm still too toast to bask under the sun. might as well gain my color back first. anyways, it was a pretty peaceful weekend. i was supposed to go out last saturday night with friends jabs and fran to have dinner, but come saturday afternoon, i was struck with hyperacidity, my worst disorder that seems to run in the family (yeah all of us have gastric digestive issues at some point, depending on what we eat. talk about bon apetit....) so yeah, i spent the entire afternoon wringing in bed with pain, like literally, my stomach seems to be twisting on its own, the pain was just indescribable. my mom always told me that ulcer was the WORST illness in the world because the pain is just out-of-this-world so i better eat on time/not skip meals/yada yada. and though what i felt was probably nowhere near ulcer, it was still HELL! i was hoping i'd feel better by 4pm, at least that would give me enough time to prepare for the night, but it didn't subside. so i decided to call it off. i felt really bad, my stupid digestive problems just ruined my entire saturday agenda. i just drowned myself watching tv that night then. sunday was nothing less ordinary. i watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind starring jim carrey and kate winslet. i've bought the dvd over a week ago, yet i've only had time to watch it last night. GOOD movie. my mom slept through it though, but the whole mind-boggling plot got the better of me. the poem by alexander pope from which the title was adapted still clings to my mind, but i'm no poetry genius, i honestly don't get this at all.

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

anyways, today is my last day of rest. so i put it into good use instead of staring at my room's brown-stained ceiling smoking my lungs out. i decided to go with my clan to go shopping in tutuban. well everytime i shop there, i never seem to find anything i like. but oh wellz, i decided to go, it'd would be a complete change of scenery and activity for me. and, would give me time to shop! yey! so we went there, and surprise surprise. couldn't find anything to buy. well anything i like, anyway. i just have no patience when it comes to searching for THE best buy. i'm very impulsive, i just buy the first thing i like that catches my eye. well i got corporate attire and shoes at the top of my list since i'm really lacking in office wear. but all the slacks and shoes i found are no good... either too pricey or it didn't fit me. tsk tsk. picky picky. so i opted for a pair of floral skirts instead. :) i've been dying to wear skirts, just for a new look and feel, and they were perfect! yey for me. and it's really nice going out with the ENTIRE (yes li'l bro was there! shock.) members of my family present. it kinda makes up for everything, we may not be at the most glamorous or most relaxing place on earth, but it sure was fun just to be with all of them at the same time, laughing our heads off everytime. i think over the years, my family has evolved into a barkada-ish type, i mean my mom wants to be involved in everything we talk about. we can even get away with cursing in front of her, haha. oh well. it just seems like we forget we're with a mom sometimes. but it's cool, i like it better that she's so involved. at least there are no barriers between us young ones and her, we can all totally relate. only my dad was missing, but hey! i'll be seeing him this CHRISTMAS!!!! wahoo!! which reminds me, have to put up christmas decors, i don't feel the spirit of christmas in this house AT ALL. :/

whoakei. day's practically ending. breathe. new week. breathe. work again. BREATHE.

still beach sick

weird. i'm still longing for the beach, it's been a week already and i still can't get over it. SO weird.

there are some truths that i'm starting to realize. mostly painful, hard ones i've been trying to deny. no, they're not really heart-stopping truths, just enough to wake me up. reality is such a bummer. i don't know, for some reason, i feel like things are getting so low for me lately. it's like i left my happy self somewhere and forgot where it is now. well i'm not THAT depressed, but i just feel like i'm missing something. the last time i felt a natural high was while i was sitting by the beach that halloween night all by myself, feeling like the whole world was mine even just for one evening.

#1 truth: not everyone around me is as young as i am.
>> this is just something i'm starting to accept. i think for a while i've been feeling like ALL things are gonna turn out right. i've always felt like it's a game, it'll never turn out wrong because we're all just playing. well WRONG. SO wrong.

#2 truth: people will try to bite your head off if they think it'll get them somewhere higher.
>> so sad. i dunnow if i'm just being paranoid but this is something i've noticed about people. older people anyway. it's just sad, especially if you're young and they see it right away, they think they can get the better of you. i'm not being bitter or anything, but it's just a reality i've noticed. i know i'm gonna get older and gonna be learning new things, but i just don't wanna be like that in a few years' time.

#3 truth: i love the beach. *oookkk it's not really a painful truth, but it's still my truth*
>> i have found my ultimate haven and home. ok ok, maybe not a home, but i definitely found the one place where i don't feel suffocated. i mean yeah i love hanging out at malls, but it's nothing like the peace i felt when i was there. honestly. though i'm completely burned by now and probably won't get my color back for a LOOONG time, it's all good. i surely won't mind going back.

#4 truth: i'm not getting any younger.
>> yup. i think this is the hardest truth i have to live by. i think i'm still stuck somewhere between being 16 to 18 years old. and i NEVER got out. sucks. and now i'm 21, and i'm getting even older by all sorts of responsibilities i have to take every single day. sometimes it really strangles me to think that, but it's nothing like i actually have a choice. and it's not like i can stop time and go back to when things were simple and happy and fun... and i was with friends and everyone was just happy hanging out and having good laughs. i know it's impossible to take everything back, but i'd rob all the bank in the metro just to have that back.


there were some more truths i discovered, i'd probably post that sooner. for now it's getting late and i have to take a shower first. =) good night.

from saint exupery's the little prince quiz. got this from myra's blog. is this really me? hmm....
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best weekend of the year thus far

this is gonna be a really long entry so brace yourselves *wink*

oct 29 friday //

after work, i met up with june and libby at megamall to have dinner. there was this oktoberfest thing going on so the place was packed! we ate at teriyaki boi and after that, bought some stuff at the grocery june and i would need at puerto galera, like booze, junk food, etc. countdown to galera, approximately 8 hours. got home with june, she slept over at my place so we could have an early start the following day. i haven't packed a single thing so i was really messed up trying to pack right, hoping i wouldn't forget anything. june watched dvd while i rattled myself with things to bring. bought this really nice bikini top for an amazing tanline that i was dying to wear. we ended up sleeping at about 1am. countdown to puerto galera, approximately 3 hours.

oct 30 saturday //

PUERTO GALERA DAY!!! woke up at 430am, so i got up to shower already. i felt like i still wasn't done with my packing, and knowing the slowpoke that i am, was all ready in about 1 and a half hours. june got up at 5am and was all set to go in like, 30 minutes? anyways, we were all set at about 6am, and about 2 minutes away, i realized i left my money so we went back again. you wouldn't believe what i forgot though. my bra. i have no choice but to wear my bikini top the entire time we were there. got a cab and zoomed our way to the bus station in buendia, got there in about 15 minutes, lack of traffic and all. hopped on the bus, we were probably the last people to get there so the bus was on its way the minute we got on. was sleeping through the entire trip, arrived at batangas pier at around 9am, and one more ride 'til we get to the beach! when i got on the ferry boat, i caught sight of this really beautiful, GQ model-like caucasian guy that i wanna call VON DUTCH. he was with his family: parents and his cute-but-not-as-equally-gorgeous brother, apparently going to the same destination as we were. june and i noticed them right away, and von dutch, which june thinks is german, was so busy browsing through this diving manual the entire trip. hooboy, it's fine. just seeing someone so gorgeous was enough. his brother was the one looking our way the entire time, bless his young heart.

got to sabang after an hour or so, and i didn't get to see caucasian-slash-german boys when we got off the boat. it's all good, june and i started our trek to lalaguna, where we were staying. about 2 more beaches and 30 minutes away *considering our walking speed, with about 2 tons of baggage on our shoulders* from sabang. we got to our place called miller's corner, the farthest end of lalaguna beach. we were staying in this nipa hut-like place, with one room, a bathroom, and a fan. not the most glamorous place on earth but hey, we were right in front of the beach!! got settled a bit and decided to go back to hunt for a cheap place to eat. we ended up going all the way back to sabang. and guess who we saw again?? german boys!!! the younger brother sort of recognized us, bless his young heart. and again, von dutch was too busy reading stupid diving manual to care. *sigh* bought some stuff while we were there, and went back to our place. decided to sunbathe while the sun was still up. june slept on the beach so i decided to try the waters for the first time. was swimming without snorkeling gear nor water shoes so i stung my eyes from the salty water and hurt my feet from the rocks. but it was all GOOD. loved swimming, the water was soooo good, it's sooo good.

it was getting a little late so june and i went back, had dinner first, then prepared for the first night's drinking session! yahoo! haven't had a good drink since time immemorial. june mixed pomelo gin and we were setting up the table and chairs to drink right on the beach. it was as early as 7pm, and there we were, drinking already. haha, can't blame us, nothing else to do. as much as i wanted to go back to sabang to hopefully get a glimpse of, errr, von dutch again, it was a long trek and it was really dark. was intoxicated by 10pm, so there i was knocked out already, lying on the beach. haha. oh and this time, i didn't do anything naughty with my PHONE! HA! was all good and oh-so-behaved, for a change.

oct 31 sunday //

2nd PUERTO GALERA DAY!!! woke up early because we were going beach-hopping!! we rented a boat that would take us to different beaches the entire day. ooohhh snorkeling and finally, will get to work on my tan! first beach we went to is called coral garden, and i get to try my hand at snorkeling! i was a bit afraid to go to deeper parts because i'm not really the best swimmer in the world. but nevertheless, it was BEAUTIFUL. totally incredible and breathtaking. it was something i only see on discovery channel, so seeing it by myself was just awesome! i had a few scratches from the corals on my knees and legs, but who cares! i got them from corals underwater. teehee! i never thought i'd see the day....

the next stop was a beach called bayanihan beach or something. nothing extravagant about the place, just went there for a good swim. collected rocks too. after that, we went to white beach. woohoo! finally! enough of the dirty old caucasian and pick-up girls i see everywhere in sabang, we got to see gorgeous pinoys for a change! had lunch there and it was just beautiful. the sand was really fine, maybe not as fine as boracay but still white nonetheless. just walked along the beach, did more pasalubong shopping, and just enjoyed the sights. and i mean the sights, lotsa cute guys our age everywhere! plus, the sun was really at its zenith and unbelievably hot. but it's fine, for once in my life, i wasn't running away from its rays! unfortunately, we couldn't stay long, more beaches to go to, more swimming to be done. next stop was hagibis beach, and we did more snorkeling there. we went back to lalaguna after, it was getting late already by the time we finished. i think we spent more time going from island to island on the boat than staying on the places themselves. but hey, i'm not complaining, i loved riding on the boat!

we got back and i suddenly had a craving for turon, which can be bought in sabang. *ahem* of course it wouldn't hurt to see von dutch again. we went there and ate turon, bought some stuff for that night. it was gonna be our last night and we wanted it to be extra special and memorable. i didn't see von dutch though. :( we got back and ate dinner by the beach, and we even met this nice english man who was staying right beside our room, mr. laurence leigh. he was very nice, we only see him at night since he spends his entire day sleeping. he's been beach bumming in puerto galera for the last 2 months! anyways, he kept us company that night while we ate dinner and drank. june was a little tired, having lost sleep for the past 2 nights so she decided to take a nap. i was left alone just sitting by the beach and marveling at the sight before me, the clear night sky filled with the stars, the almost-full moon high atop with its reflection on the water, crashing waves.... i swear, i can't think of any other moment more perfect than that night. and i don't think i'd ever forget that, one of the best and serene moments of my life that i've always dreamed of.

nov 1 monday //

last puerto galera day. *sigh* we woke up early to pack, we were leaving the island at 1045am. our bags weren't as heavy as when we first got there, and we've been exploring our island the whole time we were there so the walk wasn't as hell as the first. i was complaining that i didn't get to see von dutch again, and i probably would never see him ever again. *sigh* i had so much fun there, i was really very VERY reluctant to leave. :( there will definitely be a next time. we got on the boat and waited for like, an hour or so. for some reason, they were waiting for more people to fill up the boat which was really unfair considering that we were there on time and we wanted to get to batangas earlier. anyways, complaining aside, i was just staring out the boat and looking at the starfishes on the ocean floor. yes the water is that clear. finally some people arrived, and oh be still my beating heart, who else would it be but VON DUTCH!!! von dutch and his family, AGAIN! i was really shocked, i couldn't even look at him straight. his brother definitely recognized us, bless his young heart. von dutch was even wearing these oakley-type of shades and oh my gawd, how i was able to contain myself is still beyond me. he is soooo good-looking, i can't help but smile even as i try to remember.

the funny thing is, i was complaining all throughout how i would never see him again, and i was even praying, yes PRAYING that by some stroke of luck i'd see him one last time, and we would also be on the same boat going back. i was promising myself i'd get his name, that it's definitley fate if we'd be on the same boat and serendipity things like that. and can you believe that, we actually were... :) i am such a cheesy fan of destiny and ish like that. my only regret, and i'd probably be kicking myself even weeks from now, is that i never got his name. just a name, even just a first name, so i'd know he is real, instead of calling him some designer's name like von dutch. but i wasn't able to, firstly he was with his entire family, so i don't really think it's proper to do any type of, uhm, introduction in their presence. but still, i wish i was able to get a chance for that. we arrived in batangas pier in about an hour, and all i did was look at von dutch and breathe everything in, at least i'd have some memory of him even if i never see him ever again in my life. june and i went our separate ways, we went to different buses. i was sitting by the window, and when my bus got moving, i got a chance to catch one very last glimpse of von dutch as i saw him and his entire family headed to their car. and that's the end of it. *sigh* he will always be a beautiful memory along with all the beauty and madness of my first trip to puerto galera.

now i'm back home, burned to a crisp and looking all tanned. my tanline is gorgeous, never you mind if i ended up darker than usual, this is actually what i want! 2nd to von dutch haha.

this is an excerpt from the first song i heard when i got back home, still very hung-over from galera and of course, the beautiful stranger that is von dutch, so pardon me if i get all sentimental and cheesy.... here's to the best weekend of the year, and definitely more beach adventures to come!

feels so fine
when we touch the sky me and you
this is my idea of heaven
i'd be lost in space without you

new look!

again! june just fixed the whole thing so it's lookin' good. :)

please don't bring me to a mall again, i'm turning out to be one of the worst impulsive shoppers i've ever known... :( oh and don't bring me to powerbooks either, i think i'm more than willing to spend all my money on books. TOO MANY books i'm dying to read.

and too many clothes i'm dying to wear. what's wrong with me?

lonely planet meets confessions of a shopaholic

got home last night. all in all, i think i spent about 80% of my entire time in davao just shopping. it was crazy! i don't even know how much i have left, i was just buying so many stuff, pasalubong and all the clothes on sale i could get my hands on! haha exag... nah but i really shopped hard the last two days. and it was goooood. i swear, it was such a stress-reliever for me. good thing i'm not the type of person who is so uptight when it comes to spending. uh-oh. which means i'd always be shopping from now on to relieve stress. haha. i seem to have some unfelt hatred for money or something. davao has such good buys, although most of my shopping i did at sm since i was stuck there most of the time. there's this store called artwork that was on sale, and they sold really cute logo shirts so i thought, go get 'em tiger! they were selling them for as low as 86something pesos so i was getting handfuls of 'em haha! and i bought this really cute white slip-ons. and finally! i was able to buy a new pair of pants! found the perfect fit at penshoppe so i just went for it since i've been looking through all the stores and found none that i liked. the last day of the promo was a bit tiring, but it's all good since it was the end, had dinner at the hotel that night and i was just sooo eager to try on all the clothes i bought. haha how vain can you get?! about 3/4 of all the stuff i bought are for me.

the next day, our flight wasn't until that evening so bash and i decided to see the sights of davao. well this particular beach anyway. but before that, i did most of my last-minute pasalubong shopping. i went to ukay-ukay somewhere farther down the road from where the hotel is, and i was just walking the whole stretch and felt like i was doing my very own episode of the lonely planet! haha, all that i needed was a videocam and i'm all show. *wink* really felt very independent and street-smart type of gal exploring all by myself, considering i'm literally in the middle of nowhere in my book, and about 10 regions away from home. didn't buy much in ukay, but i did find this uber nice mini skirt, plaid and all that looks so much like a schoolgirl type of uniform for only 70pesos! and it's even from mossimo, so i was just really WHOA. for 70pesos... not bad! after that, i went for the real buys. there's this row of stores selling malongs and shawls right in front of the hotel, and i totally loved them so i got as many as i could. err well, just for the people i'd be giving pasalubongs to. the shawls looked really fabulous, so we started calling them "fabulous shawls". and they come in different colors too! i got a baby pink one, and bought one for michel (orange), my mom (maroon), myra (green), june (fuschia pink), and my lola (beige). i bought all sorts of choker for bok, and bought this really cool-looking malong for my dad, handcrafted and all from cotabato. bought other ordinary-looking malongs for whoever else would want them, i don't even know why i bought 'em in the first place. ah things you do with money.

that afternoon, bash and i checked out of the hotel and decided to do some serious davao sight-seeing. we were headed for this island resort about 45 minutes away at most *when taking a cab and a ferry boat* called paradise island. it was beautiful. completely breathtaking. well it's probably not like boracay or palawan, but it was definitely a sight to behold, considering that it doesn't cost much to get in. the water was so clear, and the semi-white sand was as soft as polvoron. too bad i didn't have a suit with me, i was dying to plunge in! i walked by the shore and collected seashells instead. the sun was really to die for, if i had a suit on, i'd definitely be all tanned up by now. rats. why didn't i buy one when i was fitting them in the mall already? argh argh argh. had lunch by the beach, and went back at around 330pm since we were set to leave the hotel at 4. when we got back, even MORE last minute shopping, haha can't get enough of it can i? i have a new weakness. i shouldn't have gotten my per diem AND salary at the same time. i was wreaking financial havoc on myself. *shakes head and sighs*

super tired when i got home. but it was a good flight, i got to sit by the window! hahaha. the view of the city at night was fantastic! i loved it, although at some point of the flight, i felt like my ears were going to explode! haha it didn't, thank god. still got my auditory senses running ok.

next stop: galera. this coming weekend. ooh boy, this is one very expensive month. but that's ok, it's worth every penny. i'm having the time of my budding career/twenty-something life at the mo'! and now, i really have an excuse to buy myself a new suit! *wink*

tonight, watched the premiere of the grudge with my sister and brother at megamall. i swear. i don't know what state of mind i'm in that i decided to watch that movie. i ended up having my eyes closed and screaming my lungs out for half of the film. useless. argh super scary, how am i gonna sleep now?

WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO WATCH THAT??? WHY???????

hate horror films. hate 'em hate 'em hate 'em. now am really scaredy-cat. boo.

all the way from davaoooooo

i'm here in davao at the moment. flew in yesterday at around 7am, the flight was at 5am, so i was at the airport as early as 330 am! crazy! i had to wake up at 2am just to get ready, which means i only had about 2 hours of sleep! haha. anyways, i met up with kesler at the airport at 330, and we did the airport stuff that obviously, i'm not really familiar with considering this is my first time to fly. we passed time at this cafe smoking, and there's even this really cute caucasian guy wandering within our midst, which of course me and kesler just had to check out. he was headed to cagayan de oro. rats!

we boarded at around 430 am, and i swear i felt like such a little child because i really felt giddy just stepping inside the plane! it was just like how it is in the movies. hahaha! anyways, kes and i had different seats, good thing mine was almost by the window, i could still see outside. it was so beautiful, rolling clouds everywhere. the trip took approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes. when we got to davao, i could already see the view from the top, and it was breathtaking. mountains everywhere, lush green fields. i don't know if it looks as beautiful down there as it looks from 22,000 feet above sea level though. but it really looks wonderful. i couldn't help straining my neck to get a better view, my seatmate was looking at me queerly. haha, don't care. my first time so sue me.

we arrived in davao and went to marco polo hotel *where we're staying*. i had to wake up bash since we'll be staying in the same room, and i really wanted to rest a bit before we do the HP sale at sm davao. well i did, i was able to sleep for about an hour, had breakfast, and off we went for real biz ish. was at the mall the entire day! really tiring considering i barely had any sleep. for most of the time when i'm not in the booth, i went windowshopping, and was on the lookout for new pants since i've been wanting to buy a new one. and it turned out to be really depressing! i was trying on SMALL-sized pants, and i didn't fit in any of them ANYMORE!! i couldn't believe it, at one point, i wanted to cry out of exasperation! i didn't fit in SMALL anymore?? SMALL! gawd i've been in SMALL sizes for my entire life! i know i'm gaining weight but i never imagined it was gonna be this consequential! well nothing i can really do, i didn't get to buy pants in the end. i ended up buying instead, a cheek-slash-lip stain at body shop which was on a 50% off. since i've always wanted a cheek stain to complete my kikay kit, i thought what the hell! it's slashed half the price. i mean normally it would cost about 600+pesos, but i bought for about 300+. teehee.

so we ended the day, ate at this crab restaurant, and another first for me! i was able to eat crab!!! i never ate crab in my life, and this time i had no choice since that was the only thing they ordered. hey i'm not complaining, food was for free! so i did, and it was yummy. really yummy. we got home, finally! went to ms anna and ms carol's hotel room to smoke with kesler. kes wanted me to settle something at the front desk so i took off, but promised to come back. it got settled anyway, knowing my problem-solving and crisis-managing skills *wink* i went back to the hotel room and took a bath first (with usher playing at the background because bash was saying how there was a ghost and everything and wouldn't let me hear the end of it) and bash went downstairs to anna and carol's room. after taking a bath, headed down myself (i realized i even left my bag in their room) had a smoke and a can of beer and just talked for a while. it got a little late and i REALLY wanted to get some shuteye already so i decided to go back to my room to sleep. although i had a hard time sleeping because bash was just soooooo annoying. he wouldn't let me sleep, would even strike silly conversations even if i was slumped in bed and he knew i was trying to sleep and all. well i zonked out eventually (with usher singing me to sleep nyaha :)

so there, today, still a crazy day. getting really tired, good thing we end the sale at 7pm so that gives us a wee bit time to relax a little. i'm going home on monday night, which gives me time to explore davao!!! yahoo! i really wanted to hit the beach, though i think that's gonna be out of the plan. i think we're going to some island or something... samal island? whatever, to see mt apo. that should be interesting. and by the way, i realize the smell of durian is really horrible. i always think there's spoiled food nearby. how can people actually EAT that? that is definitely beyond me.

good news though. june and i are really going to galera next weekend!!! hahaha this is by far the best month! going out every weekends :) she found a place in galera that's really affordable, and we're already reserved. HOPEFULLY nothing comes up, and i mean NOTHING comes up the following weekend because that is gonna be MY weekend. i'm gonna go unwind in the sand and swim and be one with the ocean. gawd can't wait. ooh have to shop for bathing suit. have to lose weight too. argh.

oh yeah, was able to get a glimpse of the ocean, as i formerly wished. right outside the hotel room. beautiful :)

i'm going to davao!!!! i'm gonna ride a plane!!!

i'm going to davao this weekend!!! yeah yeah yeah!!! this will be my first time ever to ride a plane! isn't that just sooooo cool? i'm sorry, i can't help gushing, i'm so excited. :)

i found that out last monday, and of course, it's not gonna be a problem with my mom. she knows that i'm CRAZY about travelling, so when i asked her *it was more like when i told her* that i was going for 4 days, she was just "ok." hahaha i love my mom!

and i love my work! i'm still thanking God for allowing me to go to davao, i've been praying for this hahaha ;)

anyways, i've had a SUPER crazy week.... my bosses found this blog, my fault actually. but the thing is, they've read the entries, which means i'm basically dead now considering all that i've been writing about the past months. grrr. it's all good though.... it just feels a little queer, them knowing what goes on in my head. and i thought i was beginning to be secretive, for once in my life. SO... that's why i changed my blog address.... hahaha i feel like i'm so dead! it's like revealing my most innermost secrets to people i was hiding the secrets from in the first place. funny.

sheesh.

anyways, can't wait for the weekend, though i know once i get there, i'm gonna be working non-stop at the mall for the HP event. but who cares!! i'll be in sunny sunny davao! hope i get a glimpse of the beach, even just a little.

nice day, nice night. NOT nice truth...

was out the entire day today! just got home, and am really excited the way the night turned out so really wanted to blog it.

i went out with stones 4 barkada today, went to greenbelt lang and hung out. myra went here first thing in the morning so we could go there together. when we got to glorietta, i was looking for a globe station where i can have my sim upgraded because it's been fuckin' up really badly lately. well i wasn't able to find one in glorietta so we decided to go to greenbelt already and meet up with some people. grace, tikya, mars and mons were at cafe bola already *cafe bola again... i'm starting to see a trend here...* and that's where we ate lunch. i had my sim upgraded after all, there was a globe station at the top floor, thank goodness. after that we hung out at starbucks, i treated myra to caramel frap, we're starting this silly thing wherein those of us who have work are obliged to treat those who don't, kinda like buddy system, and myra's my buddy so i did. hehehe it was obviously for fun, but wanted to treat her anyway. incy came, and we even heard mass. then after the mass, becky and fran arrived, so wow! that's almost all of us right there!

anyways, we were deciding where to eat for dinner when zig texted asking if it was still ok to meet up that night. well i was thinking, i was already there at greenbelt, might as well since i know he lives around that area anyway. we were having dinner at recipes, and myra just HAD to announce to everybody i was having a "date" that night. everyone was totally being silly because i had no idea what he looked like now and they were all making fun of people passing by *especially those that looked really... ugh!*, incy was even making this huge arrow with my name on it. well i met up with him just when myra and i were on our way to the CR, he called me up on my cell and it was just cool. honestly, i don't seem to remember him at all, but he was really nice actually.

*oh gosh i just have to share this.... usher has a video of the song my boo with alicia keys! my first time to see it!!*

so there, we met up, and i said farewell to stones 4 people. zig and i had dinner at this italian resto called pomodoro, and the food was good. i broke my diet again!!! well there, we were just talking, and it wasn't so awkward at all, he's so fun talking to. after that, we watched shark tale, and man was it funny!! haven't had a good laugh for sometime now. after that, we had dessert at mark brenner, like this cafe where they serve mostly CHOCOLATES!! oh man it was so sinful! i will definitely be back there soon, the chocolate rocked! and there, more talking, mostly about sorry lovelives this time haha ;) and it was getting pretty late so he took me home. very nice night to a very nice day.

oh and yeah, about the earth-shattering truth i've learned today... i saw my old friend at greenbelt, we were in the same org back in college. it was soooo good to see him again, haven't seen him for years! literally! well, for about 2 years. anyways, the first time i saw him, we were on our way to the theaters, and we hugged really tightly, i couldn't believe it was him! then the 2nd time i spotted him, i noticed he was with a group of not-so-straight men... i kidded him and i was pointing at the guys and was like, "di ka naman siguro ganyan noh?" and he was like, "di mo pa ba alam?" OMIGOSH!!! i couldn't help it, i was really shocked, i dragged him away for a while *excused myself politely from zig of course* and was just asking him all sorts of questions. man i was hysterical for a bit, i couldn't believe it! OH MY GAWD.... i ended up telling him how i was so in love with him before, we were really close back then. i'm sure it wouldn't make a difference now, but still. it felt really weird. i was actually IN LOVE with him! he was just laughing because i was so shocked about it. i wish it wasn't true though, i really LOVED that guy! hahaha! well anyways, nothing i can do now, i guess. zig took me home after, and i was still in a state of shock. haha, was shaking my head when i think about it. talking mostly on the way home, so that kinda took my mind off things for a while. and here i am, back at home, out all day and very tired. my right shoulder is still killing me, something must be seriously wrong, i hope nothing's dislocated or something because it's still so painful! i can't twist it for all the life of me. argh.

there, nice day, nice night. bad truth though. oh don't get me wrong, as much as my knowlege of gayness is getting wider, it just peeves me that the people i actually LIKED or currently like would turn out to be one. great. what's left for us huh? WHAT IS LEFT???

oh don't even bother to answer.

"oh my gosh i'm gonna die! oh no, not yet..."

i must've said that to myself about 50 times tonight.

for the nth day, i was all alone at the office again. hey, i'm not complaining, it's actually kinda cool, though of course it's unbelievably lonely to be totally all by myself. my playmates and bosses are somewhere else. *sigh* i feel so neglected... not! hahaha. i was the boss of me the entire day.

though kinda frustrating because i feel like i'm not so productive lately. well i've already accomplished early on what needed to be done before everyone flies out-of-town, so i guess it's ok to lax for now. still, it was really lonesome there. well it's ok, i was online the entire day!

anyways, that night, i had to meet up with a talent to hand over his talent fee all the way in malate then meet up with maxie at sm manila to hand over the package bash had sent from cebu. it was so heavy! or i'm probably just not that fit anymore as i used to be. i was walking in malate trying to find where the shop is where JM *talent's name* works, and i was catching my breath the whole time. the stuff was too heavy, i just thought at some point i was gonna faint or make a really dramatic scene like that. hehe (sheepishly) but i didn't, which saved me from utter humiliation, thank god. well i met up with JM eventually, and he was so nice. good-looking too *well duh, he ain't called a model for nuthin' right?* i stopped to have a cigarette after, and was talking to this old lady who was selling them just to pass time. she didn't talk much though. i took a cab to sm manila because i couldn't walk any further anymore with all that stuff i was carrying. the taxi driver was a prick, he bought cigarettes while we were stuck in traffic, then when we got to sm and i was paying 70 pesos for a 55 peso-fare, he acted like a complete dick saying he didn't have change and i should've told him beforehand that I didn't have change so he would've known or something insane like that. he took my 50 pesos and was like "sige eto na lang kahit lugi ako." i couldn't help but scoff at him, i was like "manong, problema nyo magbigay ng tamang sukli. eh hindi dapat kayo bumili ng yosi, kayo tuloy nalugi." SUPER BIATCH STRIKES AGAIN! HAHAHAHA. pricks like that deserve a big telling-off, they never know who they're dealing with. *wink*

met up with maxie and tita lily, maxie even treated me with a strawberry frap. gave them all the cebu goodies. funny incident: i brought out all the dried mangoes from my bag and placed them on the table, and this guy came up to us and was like "how much?" hahaha he thought we were selling them! i was just like "no, we're not selling." and he was completely embarassed! couldn't blame him though, it was a lot of dried mangoes, much to my delight. :)

am watching charlie's angels: full throttle at the mo'. girls who kick ass are royal! LOVE 'EM! and im meeting up with stones 4 high school friends tomorrow so that should be fun :)

oh yeah my date is cancelled for tomorrow. serendipity guy texted that some family friends are flying in tomorrow, saying he'll just make it up to me. yeah, that is if i still feel like going out after this *wink* for some reason, i'm actually relieved. that's one less stress this weekend!

now anastasia is playing on disney channel! i LOVE this cartoon! my favorite cartoon movie, next to beauty and the beast of course ;)

new layout

i'm so bored *again* today that i decided to update practically all my links on the net. and tada! notice the new layout for my blog? hahaha sorry it's still sickeningly pink, i LURVE this color!

nothing exciting, just wanna say that today's the day i changed my blog layout. also, the dates and time of the previous posts are incorrect since i also updated the time to asia/manila timezone, so it sorta updated itself. whatever, that sounded really labo. hmm, i have my first ever ringback tune, this coolness rap song by krook and jolo, sometimes life goes wrong, that cost a whopping 30 freakin' pesos. geez, it's a complete waste of money, i know.

june is still in bora and making me jealous like hell. hmp. but we're really really planning to go to galera at the end of this month. yey! vacation yum yum. ooh gotta work the abs.

haaayy i'm IN LOVE with gael garcia bernal! he is H-O-T and i love 'im. *sigh*

bored today

i'm all alone here at the office again. and i still have the decency and the time to blog. hehehe.

june is going to boracay today. i'm so J-E-A-L-O-U-S!!! argh. i wanna go with her. even all the people here at work are going to cebu. why oh why??? why am i the only one always left here??? isn't it ironic that i'm the one who's dying to travel and go places and yet i'm the one who's so tied down at one place? if that even makes sense, i'm typing kinda fast coz i have a million things to do this afternoon, and i have no clue where to begin. stupid checks. i hate money.

i think i'm going to baguio though, i'm going to replace stef as project manager. hoo-ha. and the funny thing is, i have no idea what the freak he does. i just know that i'm supposed to be coordinating with media people regarding ad placements and whatnot, but not like what he does. good luck. i wish they'll send me to davao too. *crossing fingers*

i took a test on whether or not i'm a geek, and here are the results!

YOU ARE 10 % GEEK !
You wanna be a geek. But you are not. Why would you even want to be one. You think it's fun? Try writing an online test application at 1 am in your underwear.

hahaha. and another test on my boobies' names! they're called bambi and thumper. wtf??? oh my GAWRSH!!! my boobies have names! AM SOO BORED!!!!! i wanna go shopping. argh.

there's a quote that made me smile :) from my favoritest comic character, calvin from calvin & hobbes, that i read in the newspaper today:

Paul Gauguin asked, "Whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?"
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside. See ya later!... Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?

-Calvin, The Tenth Anniversary book by Bill Waterson

bora....... *sigh*

i think i have a date

i think i'm going out with a guy on saturday. omigosh. i haven't had a date for MONTHS! i mean, it feels like ages actually. my serendipity guy asked me out again, and this time, i had the decency to say yes, because he's been wanting to take me out since... summer? gosh, have i been a total bitch to him for that long? ok, well this time, i do want to go out with him already, so i really do hope this turns out fine. and now i'm really nervous! i mean, it's ok going out alone with male friends, at least i know them and they know me, but this one's kinda surreal because we've met only ONCE, and that's like almost a year ago. gosh, whatever. we're meeting up saturday night, and oh man i wish i wouldn't have the jitters. i hate dating.

y tu mama tambien

saturday oct 9 // i was finally able to watch the film. y tu mama tambien (and your mother too). it was sooo good! diego luna and gael garcia-bernal were totally, completely GORGEOUS! the story was crazy, but it was really well-thought of, i must say. a bit orgasmic, the sex scenes were really rough, but it made the story all the more real. so nice. i couldn't stop thinking about it the entire day, how i wished julio and tenoch remained friends after that trip. i felt so frustrated. it was a nice story about friendship, julio and tenoch are crazy! but anyways, i won't spoil much, just saying it's hella good for an art film. i'm not much of an art film fan, but i know a good art film when i see one. i think the good ones are the ones that don't complicate the story much, because c'mon, not everyone thinks deep and philosophizes on stuff. hehe, i have such a bad impression of art films so pardon me.

that afternoon, jp asked me to swing by the nbc tent at the fort because HP was having an exhibit there and jp wanted me to see how it goes. it was around 4pm that time, and the exhibit ends at 730, so i zoomed my way there. good thing i have my allowance already, i went there by cab because i absolutely have no idea how to get to the fort via commute. the cab driver didn't know where the fort is, so i was really trying to contain my frustration because he drove farther than he was supposed to, so i ended up paying more. argh. anyways, i arrived in one piece, which is the more important thing, and it was really very techie at the exhibit. jp just wanted me to observe how everything goes with the HP trade-in promo *i think it's because they're gonna make me go to baguio this november to help out with the event... YES!!!* so jp really wanted me to acquaint myself with the whole process. not bad, i think i just need to read up on HP printers to be able to supervise the customers. anyways, there was a funny incident also. jp was able to spot this REALLY cute promo guy at the samsung booth and decided to recruit him for MG. he wanted me to meet him so he dared me to come up to the guy and introduce myself, make chika, the usual. haha, it was crazy. i ended up talking to the guy a bit longer, and he was really cute up close. although.... i think he's GAY! i SWEAR!!! it's totally unbelievable. i'm starting to wish I were gay, i seem to be drawn to gay men anyways. so there, his name is jericho something, and he is hot... and gay.

jp then invited me to eat at go nuts donuts so we started walking outside. as usual, there was like a million people at go nuts, so we decided to eat at mcdo instead. we were just walking, and the wind was really crisp and cool. i swear if jp was straight, i would've fallen in love with him that moment. hahaha. it was so cool just talking to him about stuff, jp is such a smart guy with a lot of things to say. and it was cooler to be talking about stuff outside of work. that gay is so swanked with men, hahaha. so another day, i broke my diet plan again. when we got back, stefan and bash were already there, and i went with them to the office because they had to get all the stuff they need for cebu and davao *the lucky bastards will be gone for 2 whole weeks. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!* and when we got back to the tent, all the equipment were just being loaded up this big truck to be shipped to cebu. i went to dinner with the HP executives with kesler, and i was the youngest there. hahaha. eew, i so felt totally out of place, they were all just talking oldie stuff. but it was all good, i think they're all really nice. plus, they're the BIG bosses, so i really had to be prim and proper during that time.

when kesler and i got back, the loading was almost done, and jp invited us to eat again. i swear, it was the 3rd time!! i couldn't believe it. my body is totally out of shape. we ate at trio because apparently, bash didn't have dinner yet. i just ordered something sweet, this sinful chocolate cake i couldn't finish because it was too sweet beyond description. we ended up talking some more, jp talking about business and giving his usual pieces of advice on how to make it big. we ended at around midnight, and bash and i just cabbed our way home. he paid for the fare, hehehe :) i ended up watching y tu mama tambien again, i can't help it, it's SOOO good. i love julio and tenoch, really i do. i certainly wouldn't mind a threesome with those two HAHAHAHAHA!

there's this uber nice quote from that movie that i'd like to share:

"LIFE IS LIKE THE SURF, SO GIVE YOURSELF AWAY LIKE THE SEA."

- y tu mama tambien

when earthquakes strike

tonight, i met up with june at greenbelt at around 7pm. i promised to buy her a box of go nuts donuts since i still owe her for not meeting up with her and libby at megamall way back. anyways, we ate dinner at cafe bola *i notice i've been eating at cafe bola quite frequently lately...* and just caught up on stuff. not that we haven't been talking for a while, we practically talk every night on the phone. anyways, had my favorite adobo flakes with white cheese and shoestring potatoes. argh, didn't follow my diet for today. well it's all good, what's one day right? she lent me y tu mama tambien dvd, which i've been wanting to watch for the longest time. after that, we just walked around the mall to burn the cals, and i ended up buying this white bag at the tiangge stores. june is the perfect shopping partner! she spotted the bag, and it was only for 150 pesos, and i've always wanted a white tote bag, so i thought "to hell with it, i'm buying this one!" hehe. i love shopping. and, there's this sex and the city trivia game at hobbes, for about Php 1,680 or something. argh!! i want that!!! myra bought a friends trivia game for only $10 in the states, and that's only about Php 500++. argh. nevertheless, i plan to buy one for christmas, i have to have that SATC collectible!

we walked some more, and decided to have dessert at seattle's best coffee *that's usually where brent hangs out, but according to myra, he's in singapore at the moment. hahaha talk about stalking!* anyways, june let me have a smoke, because i begged her i'd only have one stick. i was drinking strawberry milkshake *it was the best! oh no, more sweets...* and we were doing much more talking and actually, we were in okray mode that time. plus, there were absolutely gays everywhere!! i swear, i'd spot a cute guy who would turn out to be gay. i mean come on, IS THERE ANYONE ELSE IN THE METRO WHO IS SINGLE, CUTE AND NOT GAY?? i can really do away with one. so there, gays were everywhere, beautiful caucasian and not-so-caucasian people everywhere. at around 11pm, an earthquake struck! at first june and i fell silent, i thought i was just getting dizzy but the ground was definitely shaking! suddenly it wasn't just us, there really was an earthquake, and people started filing out of the restaurants *we were outside seattle's best*. it went for about a minute or so, and i really felt nauseated after. haha, talk about misadventures. so life went on after that, people partied like nothing happened. it was getting late so june and i decided to call it a day... or night.

*sigh* if only those gorgeous gays were straight, there'd be a lot more happy women everywhere. :/

so not cool.

i had the most unfortunate experience that no professional careerperson should imitate under any circumstances.

i woke up late (as usual) because i was to pass by robinson's place first to get some papers as per noni's request. since the mall opens at 10, i thought i could sleep in extra later. so i did, and i ended up sleeping rather longer. anyhow, that's nothing new, i ALWAYS have trouble waking up in the morning. it was my 2nd day of PMS so read: menstrual cramps. i went to RP to get the papers, and i was having the hardest time walking because my cramps were really bad. so i took a cab to get the office. there was this newspaper placement needed for tomorrow, but there was still no confirmation. i was kinda hoping it wouldn't push through, but it did, so come 2pm, i was totally under pressure already. it was raining, and i took off at around 230, to meet a deadline at 3. cool. 30 minutes to fly all the way from makati to port area where the philippine star is. i only had 120 pesos left, but since i really needed to make it in time, i decided to take a cab. big mistake. i ended up paying the entire amount i had left, so that leaves me with absolutely NO money at all. i mean, i just had my salary yesterday, and i have no money! i had to call my mom to pick me up where i was, and call the office to tell them that i couldn't make it back since (a) it was really traffic, and (b) i had no means to go back. gawd i totally feel like such a loser! good thing my boss kinda let me off the hook, and my mom was able to fetch me.

anyways, michel and my lola also came along for the ride. michel had to go to the doctor to have her eyes checked. then after we went to binondo for my lola, then ate at this chinese dimsum restaurant. ooh i forgot to say i have a diet plan! after-6 diet! well i've started yesterday, so it's only been 2 days. but i guess this could be the only plan that would work, since it doesn't involve any exercise, and i can eat all i want only before 6. hmm, not that i eat that much, i'm really cutting down on sweets now. i really hope this works! i need to lose a couple of pounds before christmas, since i know i'll be pigging out again during that time.

*sigh* and one more thing i'm kinda bummer about is i won't be able to watch alicia keys in concert!! she's coming to town this weekend, and i was all set to go! it just sucks that i can't find someone to go with me, i feel SO bad. that's A. Keys. fine. usher's coming to town next month, so i guess i could just save up for him. BUT I WANNA WATCH THEM BOTH!!! life is sooooo unfair.

anyways, it was really horrendous... my afternoon. and i have this worry that i did the placement wrong. ugh. i don't feel so good today. hope tomorrow's a good day.



stupid PMS. >:(

laughtrip / foodtrip all night, all day :)

saturday/oct 2... i woke up really early because i had to accompany 2 of our talents to solar entertainment for an interview regarding this competition. it ended before lunch, and i went to glorietta first because i wanted to buy a my sassy girl dvd to watch at myra's place that afternoon. went with carisse (one of our female talents) because she was gonna meet up with her boyfriend, but we went separate ways after. i got home at around 1pm, so i decided to lax for a while, then went on my way to myra's at around 4. it was surreal at monumento! there were just so many people, not that i'm not used to it, i've been so used to quiapo to get freaked out by environments like that. anyways, it was a miracle i didn't get lost on my way. anyways, i arrived at around 5pm, and we just basically hung out. i let her watch win a date with tad hamilton, which i think she could totally relate to. after that, we watched another good movie girl next door, which was really hilarious! we were just eating and watching dvd's, so to speak. it was really nice, we ended staying up really late and REALLY laughing our asses off. hahaha! drooling over brent javier the whole time, and talked about life in general while drinking smirnoff's mudslide and smoking (well i was, anyway). it was really relieving to talk about so many stuff with her, i felt like so much stuff has been lifted off me... talking about our worries about jobs, about the serious stuff we're not ready to face, how time is really catching up on us, how we miss school, how it sucks in the "real" world, how gorgeous and dreamy brent javier is... and uhm... more brent javier. hahaha :) even as we slept at around 430am, we were just laughing and talking about brent. hahaha! talk about groupies!

today, we woke up at around noon, and just watched the prince and me, and i just prepared to go home after. hay, it was so much fun, it's much better than hanging out in malls, at least i didn't get to spend a cent, except for my transportation home of course. so fun, and i kept eating like there was no tomorrow.

speaking of, my weight problem is getting even worse!!! i really have gained pounds, i'm starting to notice that my arms are getting bigger. not to mention my still growing tummy... I'M TOTALLY OUT OF SHAPE!!!! i mean, how am i gonna be able to wear a 2-piece suit on a beach now? to think i've been planning of beach escapades lately. argh. my eating habits are just getting worse. and i still haven't figured out a good diet plan or exercise to keep fit. well the exercise part is still questionable, considering i can't even keep my breathing steady while WALKING, much more doing extra strenuous activities. but will have to try. no pain no gain. with the eating, i think i have to cut down on rice and sweets, because that's what i've been indulging myself in so much. hay, this has got to work. i've been looking at pictures taken just a few months ago and i was THIN, now when i look at myself in the mirror, i can't see that skinny girl anymore. :( i want her back!!!

june and i are planning a beach getaway this weekend. i hope this pulls through!! this is just the escape i need from ALL the hustles and bustles. the one thing that would satisfy me right now is to see a tanline around my neck. haha. how vain.

oh gawd. it's like 80-something days 'til christmas. *sniff* all i want for christmas is... uhm... a PS2. and an iPod. oh and a digicam. :)

superwoman of the hour

oh my gawd! my day couldn't have been more tiring! i swear i totally felt i had to be superwoman just to accomplish everything! i mean come on, i'm just ONE person, and i felt like i had to be LITERALLY in 3 places at once! whew! but still, kudos to me, i was able to manage and finish everything.... hahaha! i am invincible!!! well i was really praying and talking to God the whole time to give me strength to be able to endure everything, and it did work. because the thing is, i was left alone in the office today, they were all out-0f-town in pampanga for the HP event happening, and noni who was supposedly my only companion at work was doing oculars around the city for another project. so i thought it was gonna be a completely peaceful and relaxed day for me at work, i even brought a book, the one i'm trying to finish since the past couple of months, pride and prejudice *for some reason, the book didn't have me hooked, i'm just trying to finish it just so i can get over it with* but NO! starting around 11am, noni started calling me to finish some tasks for him. then JP started calling to finish more tasks for him. i had to run to mandaluyong to hand in something to globe, had to call like a gazillion people, had to meet a deadline for the talent agency, had to fax memos for the newspaper placements and other stuff, had to call even more people. haaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! and i haven't got my pay yet, so many things seem to be happening at work lately, but it's ok, i still have some stash saved here so i'm still cool. i'm really, utterly tired, and i'm so glad it's friday!

oooh i almost forgot, i have to be somewhere tomorrow morning to support 2 of our talents for this interview thing for a hosting stint. at 9am! well it has to be before noon, so i thought it's better if we could get a good headstart, to be able to finish early. i promised myra i'd come over her house to watch tons of dvd's. and she's really pissed at this recent thing that happened to her. we were supposed to go out tomorrow with other high school barkada to hang out, but since it got cancelled, i just thought i'd go to her house and sleepover. haha this is so like high school! i'll be able to have her watch win a date with tad hamilton, this really cool romantic movie that i think she'll be able to relate to, with the brent javier events that just happened to her and all. hehe. AND more importantly, i'll be able to play PS2!! woohoo!! after a couple of years since it came out, this will be my first time to touch one. hahaha.

oh gosh i feel like i'm missing out on so many movies lately! the last good movie i watched on the big screen is the notebook, and that was practically eons ago! well i've been catching up on my dvd's, but that's it.

oh i just hate it. have to wake up really early tomorrow and it's a saturday!!!

OMIGOD there's a spider as big as a hand IN OUR HOUSE!!! michel and i have been screaming like crazy. i never thought our house has been breeding baby spiders, much more BIG, palm-sized ones!! gosh i can't feel my knees. ok, it's dead now. well, almost my mom just came down to save the day and sprayed some insecticide on it. it's so big, i feel like if it jumps on any of us, it can DEVOUR us just like that. yikes.

gawd. i want to hit the beach. tanline. tanline. tanline.

from babies, to belts, to bands, to SIZZLING HOT HOT HOT bachelors

aaahhh it was crazy!! i swear, i could definitely do away with partying every night, even on weekdays. thank gawd i was still able to pull through with work.

wednesday/sept 22. that night, there was an event called radioworks that our company had invites to, so we decided to come. it was held at wackwack village, and had different radio stations holding one big party. before that, we swung by noni's house at the fort, and i got to meet his baby! awwww she's the cutest thing!! her name's nika and she's really adorable, she was just smiling all the time and was very behaved. noni had to get a belt because his pants were falling down the whole time at work that day. anyways, after that, we were on our way from the fort to shaw. it was fun, and i think i drank a bit much. well sue me, i haven't drunk for a while now, and it was FREE. so was the food, so it was all good. i was with bash, jp and noni, and we all just chowed down on free food and drank free booze. quinnie was also there, surprisingly. i didn't know she was going to be there so it was really fun and wacky hanging out. at around midnight, i was definitely beat, so i was just sitting down for most of the time, and i think the alcohol was getting on me. plus, the funny thing about that night is, i was completely penniless! i literally ran out of money because i forgot to bring money to work that morning. hehe. got home at around 1230. argh, there was work the next day.

thursday/sept 23. the night of my life. well, for this year anyways. myra finally got to meet up with brent javier, and i couldn't get any more jealous! aaarrrgghh she's so lucky! they had coffee that afternoon at seattle's best in greenbelt, and i was really very much kilig for her. just imagine being vis-a-vis with someone so heavenly as brent javier.... well they stayed for about 30 minutes, and brent had to whizz because of some client. anyways the good news is, he invited myra to the cosmopolitan bachelor bash happening that night, and told myra to invite people, so who better to invite than me! hehe. gawd, myra was in brent's guest list. i met up with myra after work and had dinner at cafe bola in greenbelt, before we changed and prepped up and made our way to the nbc tent in the fort. at first, we were skeptical because we weren't really sure if brent managed to get us in the list, and we had absolutely NO tickets. besides, it kinda sounded queer saying we were in brent javier's guest list. hahaha. anyways, we did, and we were stamped with VIP. VIP! wow. all because of brent javier! haaaayyyy.... the place was literally packed with people, but we managed to squeeze ourselves in, and was right by the stage, which means full view of them delicious yummy yummy mowdehls. i can only describe the whole night in one word. YUM. i love boys!!! i love being single and swooning over different boys, and most of all, i totally love being a girl!! when brent came out, oh my beating heart. he was absolutely gorgeous! i think my entire system literally stopped functioning, i was just oogling over him as he walked the ramp, shouting and being all gorgeous in the process. it's just so funny swooning over a guy with myra, it was like high school all over again. we were really swanked with beautiful men in our memories that night, and the hardest part was getting a ride home after the event. not only were we completely hung-over and completely intoxicated from all those men, we had no idea how to get out of there. it was past midnight when the event finished. myra and i were just sitting on the curb, dreaming of the boys (well mostly, of brent), and praying for a cab. our feet were killing us, and we were totally tired, not to mention having work early the next day. haha, funny sight. being in the middle of nowhere and being all swoony. we got home at around 1am, and rested for a while. we couldn't stop talking about the entire night, and brent! plus this REALLY gorgeous model who was humping right in front of us (we were right by the stage, and the models were only within arm's reach from us.) there was a scene where they were doing push-ups, which really looked like they were humping... but it was still sexy nevertheless, so we started calling gorgeous, half-caucasian model as humping guy. hay. i love men. gorgeous men anyways. gawd, this really calls for a spinster life, doesn't it?

friday was basically swoon day for me. i was completely hung-over from brent and the bash that previous night, plus getting only 5 hours of sleep or so. myra slept over our house that night. thank gawd it's friday! i didn't really have any plans that night, i just wanted to get home earlier than usual. i've been partying for 2 nights straight, and i wanted to have a good rest for a change. though i wish i just hung out first, friday traffic was horrible! well it was the first in weeks that i didn't go out and decided to go straight home on a friday night, so i didn't really know that traffic was horrendous. anyways, no plans for friday night, and i had to finish this thing that jp assigned me to do. now it's saturday and i have no plans at all! argh, i think this weekend is gonna be boring. have to think of a plan for tonight.

oh, and bok caught a chicken. funny. we have a chicken in the backyard.