i'm so happy that i can't stop crying

i was stupidly singing that song as we capped a really awesome and tiring night yesterday after spending the entirety of it frolicking around like kids let loose on a huuuuge playground.

incredible weekend. i swear to all the dead stars in the sky, i can't remember having a weekend so full of emotions, and i've seriously never felt this happy before. i lablablab my little army of family and friends (and dogs).

beautiful day

to start off, yesterday may have been considered as one of the best saturdays of my life. seriously. i spent all of it at enchanted kingdom with my college peeps (naks) in honor of nico's last few days in the PI before he jets back to the land of the free tomorrow. already, i could feel how we'll go crazy kiddie the whole day. and yup, we totally did. i tried go-karting! haha, i finally made that racing dream come true for like, 9 minutes. lahvdeht! got soaking OA wet from rio grande rapids, and spent the whole day walking with sogging socks and dripping pants. i didn't get on the crazier rides though. i know, i've actually turned into a sissy now, i can't believe it myself. the heat was unreal, i could've donned a bikini and totally got a tan from walking under the sun all day. haha sorry, totally channeling laguna beach right there.

then of course, talks with friends were the most priceless. i love them. seriously. after dinner, i received what can be called "happy news" to some (for me, it was), and suddenly i just felt really happy like i was on ecstacy. too happy. seriously, really really happy. it was crazy, there we were just hugging each other, telling each other how much we love each other and just insanely happy. HAPPY. i have to stop, if i describe how happy i was yesterday by writing it as much as i can, i'd be writing it for about a thousand times over and over. but really, there was too much love after that dinner. i couldn't stop telling my friends i love them. i thought people were exaggerating when they say they can burst from too much happiness, well i guess that must be true. at some point between dinner and the fireworks last night , i really thought i was going to.

hay i love you, nico. i swear, i really do. thanks for making me realize how much i treasure our friendship. and thanks for being part of the gurps. haha! you're not exactly one of us, but you know, you've always been sorta a brother to us. you and jabs, actually. i know you'll get to read this when you get back to the states, so i'll say it over and over. :) thanks for that beautiful day. i dunnow why, but there's something about yesterday that will make me forever remember it. with fondness, of course haha! i told you already, you just made my day yesterday sooooo much happier... my day, my month... heck probably even my year! i don't remember being that happy ever, so i really love you for that *wink* syempre pati gurps (konti na lang yung solid, pero i swear i still love and miss each and everyone of you!)

i know how they say that a minute of sheer happiness is equivalent to about 10 minutes of sadness (or something to that effect), then i'm estimating i'll be on anti-depressants until... may? haha. i love love love you, friends. ok, here goes the ecstacy effect again.

easy like sunday morning

first few hours of my sunday was spent at coffeebean after having gone back from EK. tiredness. we had a few highschool moments, teaching non-smoking friends to smoke haha. talk about devil's advocate. another happy truth was out. grabe, ang saya. sarah slept over and was gone before i even got up. i swear, she's like an honorary family member now at the rate she stays over.

since this also happens to be my dad's last weekend before he flies off to work (poor thing), we all decided to hear mass together as a family for the 2nd time during his whole stay. and since my dad has always wanted to watch a PBA game live, sarah's friend did me a very nice favor of providing free tickets to today's ginebra game (the siquijor men are fans). so my dad, brother, lolo and tito all went to watch the game. as for me and my mom, we had a little date at gateway, which was really nice considering we don't get to spend time with just the two of us anymore. we both had a haircut at menage salon. freeze, and rewind that for a sec. I HAD A HAIRCUT! counting from october 2005, i found myself strapped to the hairstylist's mercy again! but this time, i totally lahveht! the stylist did an amazing job getting the look that i've always wanted, something japanese-ish. it was far from the peg i gave him, so thank God the look came out well. i'm not really keen on taking to salons for a hair fix, i usually prefer growing it out. but i'm glad i made that decision to just do something different today. and my mom, too. she's always gone to the same hairstylist for a long time, so i'm glad she totally liked her look albeit her first time at said salon. that makes two very happy mother-daughter tandem right there. had dinner at cibo's, and had one of those long talks i missed having with her. sigh, all that high-on-ecstacy happiness i've had last saturday must've carried over to today.

proud mommy

and tonight, i gathered my babies for our first ever family portrait. was a bit frustrating getting them two to pose properly, chacha kept going under my legs and pipay kept scratching my face. hay, mga anak ko talaga...

happy, happy life. :)

pahabol sa new year...

i've wanted to post this pic in my new year entry, which is basically what i wanted to say about the year ahead. they always say that happiness is a choice, that it's up to you to be happy because it's really your say. i found that a bit difficult to fathom, because if that holds true, does that mean i haven't decided to be happy yet? whenever i look back at 2006, i always remember how much rage i held, how angry i always was even at the littlest things - things ballooning to epic proportion that usually sent me in a madness, screaming (scheming?) fit. when 2007 kicked in (the heavenly number that is 7) and perhaps a divine intervention, i decided not to be so hateful anymore, not to hold too much grudge anymore. i guess it's working, i seem to hold that inner peace a while longer and haven't exactly pictured torturing anyone in my head yet lol. close... but as i said, i'm deciding that i will try with all my might to spend this year in a happy state. happy, and grateful state. lots to be thankful for, i don't know why i keep on complaining to the highest heavens when i really should just be grateful. God has probably been shaking His head, and muttering "ungrateful brat" under His breath all the time last year haha. anyways, i digress. bottomline, i really am looking forward to spending 2007 in a blissful state - just happy about things. happy about family albeit faraway dad, happy about job *well, it can still get better, but happy nonetheless* happy about fabulous and uber pretty girl friends for enduring my endless life dramas *i love hearing about your dramas, too :)* happy about my dogs (over the moon crazy about them) happy about being rock-bottom broke sometimes *it teaches me the importance of, y'know, hard-earned stash* happy about people i've lost touch with *makes me doubly thankful for people who really do stick with me through thick and thin, and makes me realize how important they really are to my sanity* happy that i've decided to keep away from vices, and have actually STUCK TO IT. oh brother, just HAPPY. happy, bright, and shiny. hey i can be that even without a sexlife (think meredith grey hooking up with mcdreamy after one whole season of self-torture)

and planning to keep it that way for the next 11 months. *crossing fingers*

my number one fear

no, really. I AM.

on loving a new tv series, local movies, and hot (HOT!) gay men

"save the cheerleader, save the world"

i am absolutely starting to go crazy over a new TV series (thanks to friends with DSL connections that don't eff up... unlike mine) i'm pretty sure some people have heard of this show since it can be considered as the hottest show in the US right now, and i've come to jump in the bandwagon myself. HEROES. i know, can you possibly think of a more unique name than that? but still, my initial doubts about this show have completely vanished when myra lent me the first two episodes... and the rest, is effing history. it's basically about a group of ordinary people all over the world who find out they have extraordinary powers. i'm talking powers like human flight, invincibility, seeing the future, et al. yeah i know it can pass as an x-men rip-off, but the show gives off a more "real" feeling to it. no spandex uniforms, hi-tech gadgets, futuristic machinery or anything like that in heroes. AHLAHVEEEHHTT!! so i'm currently hooked, and am on the 6th episode out of 11 (heroes is resuming on jan27 due to the winter break). anyways, i remember being this giddy over 24 when i found what a kick-ass show it is (speaking of, a new season of 24 is now showing, which i have got to start downloading right away! if only my limewire will do the very purpose it was created to do - download properly) oh and another cool thing about heroes, one of the characters is named micah. which is really cute, even if he's a boy.

the stupidest english-tagalog translated song in judy ann flick

in other news, department composed of a staff of 3 (at the moment. missing you haze!) watches kasal, kasali, kasalo; likes. i've been intrigued about this show because of all the talk, so it was high-time i finally got my ass to the 4th floor to watch said movie. although it wasn't really spectacular in manner of got to believe (probably the one local movie i like the most even up to this time), but i enjoyed it. save for the part where a song was played, which desperately tried to do a tagalog version of adam sandler's grow old with you that had us laughing so hard (and we were probably the only ones who laughed at that fact, i mean hell-o! kasama kang tumanda??) but bottomline, surprisingly enjoyed it.

a night to un-remember

then a little after we got out of the moviehouse, m and i made our way to an officemate's birthday party at government club in makati. so i know that club is notorious for being an exlusive club for gays, but the thought brushing against hot men in a crowded room like that (when i say hot, i mean HOT!) was too irrestible to pass up.

wrong.

that night might as well be the saddest night of my life. there we were in our sexiest attire (hot pants, plunging tops, high heels, make-up) and not a single (HOT) guy even took the time of day to check us out (mainly because they were all unfortunately eyeing their own kind) case in point: three of us *straight* girls were sprawled out on the bed (they've got kinky beds on the 2nd floor), drinks in hand and checking out the flooding amount of unbelievably cute men that were starting to fill up the place, when two men plop on top of each other beside us and started making out. ouch. can a scenario be any sadder? so fine, it was really wrong to have gotten all glammed up and looking for a man in that kind of place. nevertheless, it must be said that gay men are starting to look hotter and hotter; everyone looked stunning, which made it even more heartbreaking to be a straight girl who's out looking for a straight man. what are we left with now?? straight boys with huge beer bellies, unkempt hair, breaths that stink from too much nicotine, with a just-rolled-out-of-bed fashion sense. a big fat NO, THANK YOU.

i will seriously take on those hot gay men anytime.

c'est la vie '06

bawat taong lumilipas
pagbabalik tanaw sa mga sinala
walang saysay
ang panahong ito'y sana'y hiwaga
singlamig na naman ng pasko

- Hiwaga, UpDharmaDown


consider this severely late, but like the adage goes: better late than never. then since there's another saying that goes "never say never", i can't really tell if the first one still holds true.

first two sentences towards a futile attempt to write a decent whatever, and already i'm failing miserably.

seriously... i guess every person keeping a journal (whether private or published) ought to give some mad love to the year that has been. so this is it, i'm 2 weeks overdue but who cares?

although 2006 wasn't as spectacular and unforgettable compared to my other years, it was nonetheless a good year. I think although not all my prayers came true (I mean, I didn’t really think I'd wake up and have found a brand new car parked in my driveway just like that), I've learned and grown from all the things that have happened to me the past year. Sure I'm first to admit that I've made some terrible mistakes, mistakes I kept doing over and over that had me smashing my head against the wall because I can’t believe how stupid I could be. But suffice to say I've learned what I had to learn from all that. I can't say I will never do them again, but now I know what I have to do, and it’s only with His grace that I can weigh good over evil. And I think I can. I will.

now that 2007 has rolled in, i am just over the moon for some reason. deep down i feel like this year is gonna kick ass (it also helps that 7 is my lucky number). i don't expect it to be all flowery and nice all throughout, but i welcome another set of challenges, mistakes, failures, tears and whatnot with arms open wide because after having gone through so much in the past, i feel like i'm starting to be cut-out for all this stuff. i'd like to believe i came out of 2006 better, smarter, and tougher than ever before.

i appreciate the fact that i *think* i'm starting to grow and mature from everything i've been through, both good and bad. i'm not just talking about my personal life, i'm also talking about my career... and it ends there. HA! don't think i'll have any insights on love anytime soon. so back to the career, 2006 was the year i got my first ever promotion! so woot-woot for that! and of course, i'm giving all the love in the world to my amazing and stunningly beautiful PR girls for surviving a really crucial year, after having had lost not one, not two, not even three but four *FOUR!* higher-ups in the span of a year. it's pretty incredible how we've still managed to deliver when we were scared shit out of our pants after being *abandoned* by equally incredible bosses. so mad mad MAAADDD love goes to mm, ingrid, and haze for making up one helluva chic PR team. still, i'd like to thank all those amazing women (ro, treena, kris, and liz) who took us under their wings and taught us what we had to know, and now i feel like it's only a matter of time before we can fly on our own *fingers intertwining for all the luck in the world to shower upon us this year* anyways, here's to a brand new boss coming in soon, and a more improved media relations department in 2007!

... 14 days and counting...

well, so far so good. things are going swimmingly, and i haven't broken any of my own rules yet, i.e. smoking (more than 2 months and STILL counting wheee!) i seriously want to start living a healthy life, therefore i enrolled myself in a gym! i can't believe it, i can actually run for 30 minutes straight without nearly passing out. unlike before when just walking up a flight of stairs already had me gasping for air. plus, the fact that a boracay trip awaits in 2 months is a biiiig motivational factor.

in other cutesy news, i have a new baby! libby finally gave me that much-awaited pup that's bringing all the joy in the house right now (everyone is babying her like crazy) and i can't blame them because my new dog is just a sight to behold. she stays in the house, never mind the dog-scent because even my mom is mad about her. although right now, she has this weird knack of sleeping in the shoe rack amidst my dad's slippers. i know, cuckoo... sad that i can't post her pic here, blogger is such a wreck sometimes. check out my multiply to see this unbelievably adorable being that i'm absolutely gaga about right now. :D

so there. rounding up the year that was, and looking absolutely smitten by the year ahead. looking forward to making more memories this year that'll either have me kicking myself, or swooning and all googly. either way, i'm totally psyched! mark it, 07 07 07 has got to be the luckiest day this year and between you and me, i can't wait! ;)