I have to admit, I've been slacking off on writing. Not even slacking, I feel like I can't write anymore. I can't even write a decent entry in my journal, just to fan the flames of my love for words. I am still crazy in love with writing, don't get me wrong... it's just that I feel like I haven't been exactly giving it priority lately, hence, the so-called creative juices trickling down the drain. :(
And it's killing me! It's killing me that I feel like I can't do this right anymore, the one thing that I feel like I'm quite good at. Without this, I'd be a worthless waste of space in the universe. But anyway, I guess this is a good start. After almost a quarter of a year, I've finally decided to post something, albeit senseless and gibberish. An entry to start the year has long been overdue, and it's probably the non-stop hullaballoo of this place that has been
The 2009 ride
How has last year been? Boy oh boy, where do I even start?
In a nutshell, I spent the first half of my 2009 in peace and quiet as I did a lot of recharging and soul-searching (which also translates to jobless and stuck at home), then the latter part literally whisked off on an island followed by some of the most turbulent experiences of my life.
I have been working non-stop since I finished school back in 2004; having that hiatus was a first for me, and a much needed one, too. It was time for me to heal, to just slow down, smell the flowers, and spend more time with family and friends that I wasn't able to do much of previously. And I loved every minute of it, thinking back now. Although it seemed like I didn't get to accomplish much, it was still time that I never would've been able to give myself on any other occasion. I was able to travel, meet new people, read, write, hang out, spend summer; I find it a real blessing that I was able to keep myself afloat financially that I'd been able to be with people who matter more, go to a lot of places, and do a lot of things. ;)
Then my adventure-loving soul just had to get the best of me. Just after I hit my 26th mark, I found myself packing my bags again for another big jump - on to Boracay this time. I decided to accept a job offer that will have me based on the island, and it didn't take long for me to realize that a rare opportunity such as living on the beach doesn't come often, so off I flew for another change of scenery (literally!). If at first I thought it would be a stress-free island living from the get-go, I was dead wrong.
I've never met people who meddled into other's people's lives so notoriously like it was the most natural thing for them to do. And I've never had people (who claimed to be my friends from the start. I say GOOD RIDDANCE!) talk so negatively about other people, but here it's like a pasttime. Yup, I was greeted with a lot of that - plastic nation, traitors, betrayals, etc. - and it was a huge reality check. I mean, how to deal? I've never had the privilege of having such bad company around me (I have the coolest bunch of friends and ex-officemates back home, thank you very much), that going through such an ordeal was remotely alien to me. It's bad enough that I'm with this bunch on a 24/7 basis, I work, live, and (sadly) even party with them. For an island so small, there's no way to escape.
I learned so many things from as early as my first few weeks. I've made so many mistakes too, and involved people who were leading quiet lives jump into my neverending quest for drama. It was hard to deal with, most especially not having my usual support system to back me up, and I had to learn to stand on my own and admit to my mistakes, to the hurtful things I've done. The even worse thing is, everyone's business is everyone's business in this place.
But ironically, I'm still thankful I had to go through what I went through. Not only did it toughen me up more, I had one of the most beautiful and unexpected surprises ever. Everything did happen for a reason, and I'd go through all that ruckus again just to be where I am now. :)
The best bit of 2009?
Like I said all that drama wasn't for nothing. 'Nuff said.I love the island life, more than anything. If given a choice, I'd want to spend some more years of this if I could. Even if the working environment isn't exactly my cup of tea, and I'd still offer myself to the creativity and vibrance of the writing world, Boracay is just so hard to fall out of love with.
