what a year this has been, what a rare mood i'm in

i can't believe it's the last day of the year. less than 24 hours and it's really goodbye 2005. cheers for a great and crazy year! i couldn't have had it any other way.

this year gave me a spankin' new job, which i still find so full of surprises even to date. i met loads of really amazing people left and right, from the most fasyon and creative, uber-successful power-women in the city, to drop-dead gorgeous models i still drool over, to a handful of celebrities who don't even strike me as "stars" anymore. i've had my fill of escapades in the most amazing beaches this year. i was finally able to set foot on boracay for the first time and cannot describe how much i've fallen in love with it. i can always go on and on talking about how beautiful bora is, gushing relentlessly how i left my heart somewhere on its ethereally white sands. i've been fortunate to chill at puerto galera for a couple of times with friends and has always loved every minute of my stay there. my wanderlust is getting worse, it's time to bring out the big guns and explore big(ger) places.

i'm even daring myself to explore a completely unknown place all by myself sometime in the near future. a really far place. think sagada far. hmm that should be an interesting dare i ought to do this coming year.

speaking of things to do to enjoy ohsix, i don't want to think of resolutions because knowing me, i've never kept my word on any resolution for the past 22 years so i'll shut it. instead, i did a sort of goals-slash-ambitions to do-slash-accomplish this year, including my backpack-alone-trip-to-faraway-place plan. i've shortlisted it for the meantime since i haven't exactly thought about it seriously, just picking stuff off the top of my head as usual.

(1) the ultimate goal to quit smoking - i really need to and i really want to. i keep telling myself that the time to quit starts at the strike of 2006. my time is almost up, i gotsa gotsa gotsa do this once and for all.

(2) save up - as if that needs any emphasis. i'm really proud and somewhat surprised that i've actually saved a little amount before oh-five closed up. it's crazy but i want to save up for a trip somewhere really far. i'm talking somewhere like thailand far. yeah we gotta aim beyond the stars. and i'm not gonna stop saving 'til i make that one dream happen. not to mention my never-ending list of gadget must-haves i'm dying to get, i.e. digicam, PSP, a brand new cellphone, iBook (yeah right), etc etc etc.

(3) learn how to surf - i've been whining to myself that i want to learn how to ride a surfboard and take surfing lessons. i saw PGMA do so on the news the other night in la union, so gardemmit if the freakin' almost-60-year-old president can do it and her fatso husband (who can't, for the fats of him, get himself on the board) then i know i freakin' can, too. and i proclaim oh-six my surfing year!!!

(4) beach-hop 'til i don't stop - summer's just a blow away so yes... plenty of trips to the beach, please. which will then lead me to my next goal...

(5) have a pussycat-doll-like body - it wouldn't hurt if i start dancing like one too. but yes, i have gotsa shed off the unwanted fat i seem to have accumulated the past months. more so this holiday season. and no, smoking isn't an option anymore. so i really have to start working it. pota naman 22 pa lang ako, tumatapa na!

hmm what else? there's the beach, there's the money part, learn how to surf, have a super killer bod. oh ok ok fine, i better let this last one off my chest, whaddaheck baduy na kung baduy....

(6) the possibility of falling in love - (insert looooong barfing scene) i finally and shamelessly admit!! it's been a long time since the last time i did, and though that didn't end as well as it should have, i still don't regret it. but the thing is, it's been more than a 2-year break already and i'm kinda getting tired of this whole me-time i've been giving myself. it's about time i start growing up and appreciating the beauty of life alongside someone else now (and no, edison chen does not count). a friend once said that i need not let someone complete me, i should be complete in my own way before i enter a relationship. and believe me, i'm more than complete now. i'm more than ok, i couldn't possibly love myself anymore than i already do. i've never felt better in my life, and being in love once again would be the perfect icing on my 2006 cake :)

besides, i don't blame Him for taking His time while writing the perfect love story for me. He knows i have a long list of standards i dearly uphold to. He can take His sweet, divine time, this trooper has been waiting long and hard and she can still wait some more *wink*

so hurrah! as 2005 comes to a close, i have nothing but great things to say. though it wasn't a year big on drama like how my past years were, 2005 gave me a chance to reflect on me and my life and why i should be loving and appreciating me more since that is the best gift i can possibly give to myself. so i'm very cool now. i've grown up. i think i can pretty much handle things on my own now, which is very kick-ass IMO.

cheers to 2006! may you be a year full of more fun, excitement, love, knowledge, experience, escapades, friendships, faith, hope, strength, and just because i need it, more money! i'm being honest, i need it and i want ohsix to be the year i start making it happen. i want to do more and i want to be more.

so bring it on! it's my 23rd year on earth and i'm so ready for it all bitch :)

remembering the birthday boy

i have been so rattled recently because i could not not not, for the life of me, not find good presents to give to anyone. my holiday spirit sort of took a dive because of the fact that i can't figure out something as simple as that. since this has always been my favoritest holiday of them all, i decided not to let that hold my yuletide cheer down. maybe if i diverted my attention on the big Boy who celebrates His birthday today, i would have a different perspective of what today is really all about.

it's His birthday so maybe i should be giving Him a present instead of everyone else. but you know what they say, God is in all of us so yeah, that isn't an excuse.

so i want to greet Jesus, the main Man in my life, a very happy birthday! this is going to be all about Him because really, no one has stuck with me as much as He has. when even i, myself, was on the brink of giving up and calling it quits because of my... unworthiness... He was still cheering me on. i don't quite understand why He still hasn't smite me after all that i've done. i've become my own worst nightmare one way or the other and have often strayed away from Him, but believe me when i say that i can't recall a time when He has ever turned me down. looking back on this year, i couldn't be more thankful for everything that has happened to me. it's like i'm afraid of all the good things happening in my life because there might be something in exchange for that. no one really knows His ways, so all i can do is be thankful and give back to Him in my own way. i'm even thankful for the failures because i think i've been very much stronger from them and i really feel like i've grown up now compared to how i was before. i seriously still need a lot of work, but i am more than willing to have Him do the finishing touches because i know i can never go wrong with that. having Him in the center of my everything has been the best choice i have ever made.

He has kept my family strong and healthy, first and foremost. i couldn't ask for anything more than that. i still have to control my temper once in a while, but i know i'm improving. i really should, i never want to see myself blow my top off ever again. not to my family, not to my friends, not even to strangers. it's never fair to anyone, plus it's not healthy and i've realized that the hard way. like how all the important lessons in life are learned. i'm just happy that i don't have to worry right now because all four people that matter most in my life are upstairs, sleeping soundly in their own beds. that's more than enough for me to be thankful for this Christmas, the fact that i spent the whole day with my entire family. =)

o come all ye

i spent the former part of christmas eve day with libby, catching up with her once and for all like how we always do before christmas. she was supposed to give me a shih tzu pup but unfortunately, the babies didn't make it. my whole family was devastated because we were really looking forward to the little household addition, but i guess this isn't the right time for that. it's enough that we still have our little bundle of footlong-sized joy in the form of our 2-year old dachshund, chacha.

beware of the laser eyes. this dog kills.

my older cousins decided to rent a videoke machine to give the neighbors a harder time to sleep that night. my younger cousins couldn't do without alcohol for the rest of the night, either. so we spent all of christmas eve belting out song after song with our good ol' christmas buddies san, mig and light. here's my dad shaking his bootie to the tune of macho gwapito. ooh la la.

me at the far left hyperventilating from laughing . check out the look on my sister's face. yeah, she's feelin' it.

although i was a little ashamed that night because i did something stupid *again* which ended in a major fight with my brother. right at the strike of christmas! i can't blame my dad for his frustration, but love prevails in the end. so bok and i hugged and made up before we all ruined each others' christmases. ain't that what this season is all about? oh how i love all the drama.

so christmas comes to a close, and i can't think of spending it any other way than with the people i've just spent it with. it's going to take exactly another 365 days of anticipation 'til the next one rolls in but for the meantime, i'm embracing this one until it slowly slips off my grip. once again, i have no words for how thankful i am for this year and this life. i continue to pray i become the better version of myself every single day. every single day. not just for me, but for everyone else around me who deserve nothing but love, love, love. i want to live love and i want to love love.

the vera cousins in serious videoke and san mig mode.

the loves of my life. the other one was too stonked to join in on the late-night fun.

and so we camwhore. sis, we gotta sleep.

merry christmas, darlings.

what's in a name?

here's the deal, it's ok if a few people mispronounce my name once in a while, i.e. mee-ca instead of mai-ca. but it starts to get a wee bit disturbing when everyone has learned and gotten used to saying it that way. i used to throw a fit when i hear mee-ca; i feel like it demoralizes my name in a way. and i should be doing something about it because i like my name. just by hearing mai-ca, i feel that it already says a lot about the kind of personality that i have. mai-ca sounds perky, playful, cheeky, naughty in a something's-up-her-sleeve way: traits that i embody. however, having to correct people everytime has become too much of a chore, and they never seem to get it right for some reason i don't understand (is it so much better to remember mee-ca than mai-ca?) it must be with how it is spelled. tendency is mica to be initially read as mee-ca. so eventually, i learned to let it be and just take it in stride. now i go by two names: mee-ca and mai-ca.

i guess i should learn to stand up for my name's sake, but the way i do it: how people say my name is how i categorize them as whether they are merely acquaintances (mee-ca) versus people i'm really close to, may it be among peers or colleagues (mai-ca).

here at work, i am known to almost everyone as mee-ca. last night at the company christmas party, i was tasked to be the fishbowl holder for the rest of the evening (where they pick out the raffle winners), and somehow, standing onstage and hearing my name mentioned in front of everyone as mee-ca seemed pretty normal. but come to think of it, i see ro's point. i really should start fighting for my name. i guess i don't have the heart to correct those people i practically worship with "it's mai-ca, not mee-ca. say it with me. mai-ca. mai-ca. MAI-ca!" lol. the guy who sells lunch here at the office even has the knack of calling me meecs. queeee??

maybe one of these days, i'll be well-known in the industry as maica-not-meeca siquijor. that's a pretty long name i should start getting used to. :)

Going Go Go

speaking of the christmas party last night, it was helluva fun. well, everyone else seemed to have fun. i was appointed as one of the production assistants for the night (apparently, new-hires get to be hands-on during christmas parties) so whaddaheck. i guess it saved me in disguise because had i been sitting and watching the show the whole night, i would've ended up drunk out of my wits again.

the theme was Hollywood so everyone came dressed ala-red carpet or any movie character. i dressed as Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill! it was the easiest attire i could think of since i already had the pleated skirt, the blazer, knee-high socks and white sneakers. although i didn't attempt to make her ball-on-chains weapon anymore because that would've weighed tons inside my bag. and it's disappointing that my hair isn't long enough to give my Gogo outfit justice. but still, it compensated that i looked a lot japanese for everyone to think that i came as a japanese schoolgirl instead, which is really cool. some people guessed my character right away, and it helped that i was with mm most of the night for people to recognize who we are (she was dressed as Uma, as in the Bill-killer).

i'll post pics soon! meanwhile, a taste of things to come starting with uber cute shot with myra at the "red carpet". how more adorable can this get, huh??

the mean girl - schoolgirl faceoff!

check out the v-cut on the floor. someone obviously can't wait 'til dinner.

underneath the christmas tree

my turn! i haven't thought about what i want for christmas, mainly because i think those that i REALLY REALLY want are much too expensive to be considered in my wishlist. fine, just to join in the spirit of this merry-making season, i'll try my best to come up with a good list.

+ a digicam (everyone seems to want one, noh?)
+ a brand new cellphone (the latest from nokia, from the L'Amour collection coming out in 2006, i hear.)
+ converse chuck taylor sneaks
+ hardbound Memoirs Of A Geisha book (i lost my old one in paperback)
+ brown havaianas
+ a Shih Tzu pup (libby said she'll give me one, so now i'm really craving for that new baby to arrive)
+ an Edison Chen 2006 calendar (i found one being sold on eBay!)
+ a trip to the beach
+ a surfboard (that should come with FREE surfing lessons)
+ new bikini set
+ a brand new hottie boy-toy


........sheesh. i should stop.

i wouldn't even call that a list, they just came off the top of my head. come to think of it, i don't think i really want anything specific for christmas. if there's anything i get from receiving gifts, it would just be the sheer delight of opening them. and the thought that came from the person who gave it to me, of course.

lately, i've been having a hard time sleeping at night because of the cold weather. i spend hours outside our house, either just smoking or... well, smoking. i must say this is the absolute, perfect weather to smoke to, not that i encourage it but it just feels so good along with the cool, night breeze. i really really really love this time of year! it's cool because i thought that i would lose that giddy interest for Christmas as i get older, but i'm really happy that i still have that excitement in me everytime December starts to roll in. i guess i associate this time of year with my dad coming home for a vacation. speaking of, he's coming home on the 23rd so yey! just in time for the christmas eve! i feel like it's still light years away because i want him home NOW, but at the rate time is going, i'm sure i won't even notice how 2 weeks just whizzed by.

i almost forgot, i said i'll post pictures from the party at my house held last december 3. again, nothing big a shindig; just an intimate gathering with friends. i noticed one thing though, that it gets really hard to keep tabs of friends especially now that we're all on our own. you can't make everyone be at one place and time unless they really want to. it's not like they're obliged to show up, so it must mean that if they don't make an effort to be there, it means they actually don't want to be there. i'm just glad that among my college, and even high school group, i found those who still stay true to the friendship that we started years back, and who i can really consider now as friends i can keep for years more.

this is all of us at the party held a little outside our front door. i like this picture despite the lack of lighting because it gives a different glow to our faces. IMO. that's me at the far left talking to maxie on the phone because she couldn't make it (at least she had the courtesy to call and say hi to everyone). mac's there too, see the one with the peace sign on her face. hmm maybe i should post another pic....

there you go! from L-R: prizza, mac and my best girl sarah with that look. doesn't mac look real pretty? i like her look better with short hair. we spent the whole night dancing in our living room, and though her body couldn't keep up with her energy, i knew she had tons of fun getting her groove back.

claire looks fab, as always. why do i always get my picture taken with her?? haha, but lurve her, one of my prettiest girls, and one of the few who stuck it out with me this year.

jason was there! he was our classmate in our 3rd year, but he didn't make it through senior year. still, he remained to be part of the ca1 family even up to now. doesn't sarah look gorgeous with dangling earrings? prizza's hot, too. notice john peeping from behind. creepy :)

that's ace in his best sober look. NOT! mean (pronounced me-anne, in white bolero) and del looking all prim and pretty. 'course claire wouldn't pass up any photo-op, even if it's just half her face. i forgot whose hand that was, must be john's. law's best-tasting pineapple gin mix right there. yammeeh.

with my best boy rico in our futile attempt to look fresh out of a gangster movie. he even has a cig hanging from his lip, but you can't really see because there's too much light!

badoys! boys who rape each other.... we'll miss you ace! he's flown to the west for an indefinite period of time. good thing he made it for one last party, might be the last time we'll see him for a long while. aaargh why did i not get your livestrong wristband??

EC does it

i spent an entire week totally and completely immersed in ONE thing. or person. i have no idea what i consumed to be engulfed in obsession over him for the nth, but definitely not the last, time. as i've been constantly saying for years now, if given the choice to marry anyone in the whole wide world, i'd choose him in a nanosecond. HAH! keep that pretty head in the clouds, girl.

*in a top singsong voice* Edison Chen, how i love you...

whew, talk about reliving my fangirl days. again and again and again.

i FINALLY got to watch edison's latest movie, initial d. (well, it isn't his latest, but the latest one out on dvd) even if it meant having to brave quiapo on a sunday afternoon, GO! and it was worth inhaling all the smoke and stench of that town, i tell ya. brilliant movie! and i'm not just saying that because eddie's in it, but it really is a nice movie. on a sidenote, this is definitely one for the guys. but even for someone like me who isn't that much into cars and the whole racing lot, i was hooked. it was probably all the streetracing done on zigzag mountain roads, plus all the awesome drifting. or maybe it was really just edison's presence but whatever. loves it!

ok, so it was 98% because of edison.

excuse me while i gush like a high school girl, but it also helped that the rest of the cast looked drool-worthy behind the wheel. take jay chou, the lead. he isn't even good looking, but try looking cool while doing some major kick-ass drifting, and that definitely won him huge pogi points in my book.

i was actually looking for all of edison's past movies in quiapo, but i guess the older ones aren't sold anymore. that means a trip down chinatown one of these days, then.

oh gawd. reread what just wrote in previous paragraph, and realized it sounded anything but sane. what am i starting to become?? need. real. man. NOW.

Shorty, your Bridget Jones moment is Getting Carried Away

Ever hear of the snowball effect? It's when a teeny tiny snowball starts at the top of the mountain and turns into a boulder by the time it reaches the bottom. This is how you tend to react to, well, lots of things. A fleeting glance from the object of your affection (or is that obsession?) might be all you need to drop everything in hot pursuit. Let's look at the bright side: you're motivated.You'll do whatever it takes to get what you want. And if things don't work out the way you planned, it's not for lack of trying. Staying open to new ideas and people is what makes you, like Bridget, a cool person to be around.

ah well, there really is a Bridget Jones in all of us then. this one just nailed it for me.

first december weekend

wow. and only 23 shuteyes to go until christmas. how fast can time get??

it is so not cool because i still can't friggin' feel christmas in the air despite the cold weather and what with all the christmas decor possibly everywhere i look. and before i know it, christmas will be over and it's like it never even came. it's funny because i got to catch that christmas COD presentation over at greenhills last weekend and got nostalgic as hell because the last time i caught that was in cubao (while it was still THE place to be) way back when i was about 4 years old, michel was still a tiny little monster waiting to happen, and bok wasn't even born to make trouble then. but still, i can't feel the excitement; around this time, i usually start feeling very giddy like crazy. well, maybe i can start it by actually splurging on myself, finally!

yes, there is a vow i made with myself somewhere between the past and the present which firmly states that i am giving myself full authority to spend and shop entirely for me this season. gawd as if i need another pep talk, but i really really need all the new stuff i can get, just to replenish myself and you know... new year, new me. cool, now i sound very cosmopolitan.

apart from the fact that i am getting very inspired from rachel bilson after discovering her super chic wardrobe (thanks myra!). i don't really follow the OC (but laguna beach on MTV, i'm a fan) but everytime i do catch an episode, it's so refreshing to check out summer's laid-back/chic style (even for mischa barton's character, marissa) that makes me want to raid 168 pronto and give myself that long-deserved shopping spree once and for all. i got half of my 13th month pay and i am really trying to set my shopping priorities straight so i don't go around impulsively buying things i don't really need versus those that have been pending on my list for quite sometime now i.e., japeks chuck taylors at greenhills tiangge. *sob* goody, i can't wait to make myself flat broke again.

wheee, and we're having a party with college peeps tomorrow at my house! can't wait to see everyone again, the pics should be crazy. camwhores, kamoown!!