my own scrooge
finally, it's here! we had midnight mass a couple of hours before christmas, and come midnight, it was the usual fiesta at home. i was seriously still under my diet, so it was all no-carb, meaning i couldn't feast on pasta last night. it was ok though, i really can't afford to gain some pounds coz i know i'd have trouble trying to lose them anyway.
the only bad thing about last night is me, ruining my own christmas. i was only intending to get a bit tipsy (because usually my uncle opens some bottles of champagne) but last night, he opened a vodka. so there i was, downing shots. i got home, a bit tipsy already, and as if that wasn't enough....!!!! i tried to finish the lambanog we've had stored here at home... BY MYSELF. now that, my friends, is NOT a good idea AT ALL! i wanted to call people to greet them.. heck i really just wanted to talk. i felt like i was gonna go insane if i stayed there drinking alone. first i called someone i should really be trying to get out of my system, because he is not healthy at all for me. then after that short call, i called up myra to greet her and her family, and then, i called up rico to greet him too. then i kept on downing more and more shots, and kaput! i was out already. wasted. sabog. super! i couldn't remember a thing afterwards! i'm just thankful it's rico i'm talking to, and no one else. i think i called up more people using my *gulp* mom's phone, but as far as i can recall from my vague memories of this morning, they were "harmless" calls. geez-us, alcohol has never failed to deceive me ever since. and the really yucky part is the puking part. yes yes, i was all over myself... or rather, undigested leftovers of that night. eew to the eeeewest eew. i still managed to go up to my room (not even knowing how) and found my brother there. my sister, apparently was too grossed out to sleep beside me so she exchanged places with my brother. god, i can't imagine what my future husband would have to go through. i have to marry someone like andy garcia's character in that movie when a man loves a woman.
when i woke up, the worst hangover of my life. great. i just ruined my own christmas! i went through my christmas day feeling soooo hungover, it was so bad. i tried not to piss the people around me since i didn't want to get a beating from them. the minute i stepped out of bed and realized i had to take a bath because my hair was just.... ok too gross to even say here... my world was just spinning! i couldn't even stand still in the bathroom. and from my mother's reports, i puked on 3 throwpillows, the floor (which i don't know who cleaned up, my brother i think), and even my cellphone. i broke a glass, finished the bottle, AND.... just messed up my day. we went to san juan to have lunch there, and after, i took a nap just to lessen the dizziness. i woke up about 2 hours after to go to the cemetery to visit my lola. oh it was so nice, the sun was just setting, and the full moon was already up, had this pink haze around it. so nice. i wish i had a camera at that moment.
we got back to san juan and lolo had visitors. we were going out to have dinner, so we had to wait until the visitors left. had dinner at this chinese restaurant in makati. my dad wanted ice cream at mcdo, so we drove to paseo to get some. while waiting at the drive-thru, we found out there was none, the ice cream machine wasn't working. too bad. the good thing was, i got to drive back home! yehey! i haven't been driving for some time now, so it was good to take authority of the wheel again. there, dropped lolo off at san juan, and since we were all tired already, went straight home afterwards. for the first time in history, this is the only christmas where we didn't go to relatives. first time.
tonight, i caught the farewell special of sex and the city. it just made me sad, the show is really ending. best show i've probably seen in my whole life, i've never seen such reality, such friendship, such relationships, such glamour, such fashion, such sex, and such attitude all in one show. i've never been more prouder of being a woman, and most importantly, of being SINGLE! as kim cattral said, "before, being single meant not having anybody want you. now, it meant being sexy!" how true is that? and, it made me fall in love with new york more. someday. i will be there too. someday.
25 December 2004
24 December 2004
merry christmas darling
no, i'm not being a scrooge, i just don't really feel christmas lately. strangely speaking. however, i have been doing some serious party-ing the last couple of weeks, i guess that's the best thing about this time of year. you have absolutely all the excuse in the world to party, to splurge, to shop til you drop, and most importantly, to overindulge.
december 18 // saturday
the ca1 party, organized by, yours truly... moi. it was so frustrating that we can't get ONE frickin' date for the party, so we just decided to have it on the 18th, exactly a week ago. as usual, we had it at greenbelt since that's the most convenient place to dine out. so we did, we ate at cafe bola (again!!!!). not a lot of people made it, but frankly speaking, i preferred it that way. it is selfish to say, but having the entire class come in one event is like trying to hoard a school of fish in one net. what's important is that the people important to ME came, and that means a lot already. jabs, claire, del, gabs, jenny, sarah, rico, nico, and fifi made it to dinner. we were thinking of what to do after, there were SO many people at greenbelt that saturday night. we decided to go karaoke-ing and had it at red box. i haven't been there before, and it's such a great place! we were there singing our lungs out from about past 10pm, up to 2am. em made it there, and around midnight, jason came along! we haven't seen him for so long, it was so nice to finally see him again! and it was a good thing he was there at greenbelt, i didn't have his number so i couldn't tell him about the party. so there, really tired after, got home at around 4am. whew. talk about serious all-nighters. still, greenbelt was very much alive during that time.
december 20 // monday
monday night, i had dinner with june and libby at italianni's. after so looong, i was able to eat there again! i love italianni's so much. anyways, i haven't seen libby for ages, so it was good to catch up with her. it's so impossible to get a hold of her when classes are on, she's practically getting eaten up by her law books. and tep dropped by! libby and i haven't seen her since graduation! she worked somewhere in makati at a call center, so she was able to hangout at greenbelt for a while. i am so amazed that i still had money after that dinner, i seriously thought after last saturday, i would be on all fours begging for money. so there, hung out at seattle's best. had my FAVORITE strawberry milkshake... it's soooo good. it was getting late, and i had work the next day (our last day before christmas break comes in) so at around 11, we called it a night. yum yum, i just love pigging out.
december 21 // tuesday
our last day of work. we were gonna have our christmas party that night, plus knowing we were gonna have our breaks, spirits were up the entire day. bash and i decided to go there first to find us a table already, there were supposedly plenty of us there, us 6 plus dates. well ok, i didn't have any (grrrr...) but they all had. and guess where we had dinner! surprise surprise... italianni's! i was trying not to eat too much, carbo-festing again and all. maxie was there too, as bash's date of course. after dinner, we played mini-golf at the fort, my first time to play golf. haha it was so fun! we were playing against each other, the "breeders" as what they called us straight people, versus the gay men. i had no idea we were playing for so long, because we ended at around 1am already! bash, marko and i still have no gifts for the bosses, but we thought of having a caricature done of them, so at that very ungodly hour, bash and i had to go back to the office to get pictures of them printed out. imagine that. got home before 3am, and was so tired like hell.
december 22 // wednesday
my first off. i feel like i'm back in school, having my christmas break too. today though, we were all excited at home because my dad's arriving today! i can't wait! christmas is gonna be so fun! we were at the airport by 4pm, he was arriving at 430 something. i brought a book with me, i'm currently reading the da vinci code, and it's just SOOOO amazing. i am blown away, i'm having difficulty putting the book down when i start reading. so there, as we were waiting, at least i get to do something. good thing he arrived on time, the last time he went home (for my lola's funeral last february), his flight was really delayed, my mom and i waited for him for like, an hour. so there, happy family again this christmas!
december 23 // thursday
i met myra this afternoon to give my gift to her at robinson's galleria, because that's literally where her office is. and i had to do some really last minute shopping, i still had no gift for my dad and my sister. i was looking through the tiangge section called 50th avenue, and for some strange reason, i actually had no idea what to give! and this is my sister i'm talking about, i could take a look at one store and know exactly what she would've wanted, but that day, i was just... blank. i ended up buying her earrings instead, and for my dad, a shirt. myra treated me to dinner at chef d'angelo and had salad each, and it's cool that i'm sticking to my diet plan, which i hope i'll be able to keep until next year rolls in. the no-carb atkins diet. and i'm also starting to work out again, because really, i CANNOT take the flabs anymore! and apparently, sarah and rico are planning a galera outing sometime in january so there, really have to keep fit to be able to work it at the beach! there, after dinner, we couldn't stay for long... aside from the humongous throng of people doing their own last-minute shoppings, myra had to fly all the way to valenzuela, and i to manila. finally! my christmas list is done!
december 24 // friday
the entire clan went to duty free today. i was kinda hesitant to buy chocolates since chockies always instigate zits, but what the heck! ooohh and that's a lotta sugar too... hmm so i'm really fighting the urge not to eat too much. after duty free, we drove all the way to quezon city to meet up with my dad's co-worker's wife (ok give you 20 seconds to figure that out) to give her some stuff from her husband, including a dozen roses that we had to buy first at dangwa. when we got home, i was so sleepy so i decided to take a nap, just to energize myself for the night ahead.
my gosh, i can't believe it's almost here. it's only hours away, and still i'm having trouble trying to have a feel of it. and this is the only thing i've been waiting for the entire year, but now it's practically on my face, i still can't see it. it's just sad. i wonder if it's true what they say, how as you get older, you feel the season less and less. do you have to be a kid just to know it's there?
hoo-how, i guess christmas won't always be for everyone. there will always come a time when it'll just pass you by, just like that.
no, i'm not being a scrooge, i just don't really feel christmas lately. strangely speaking. however, i have been doing some serious party-ing the last couple of weeks, i guess that's the best thing about this time of year. you have absolutely all the excuse in the world to party, to splurge, to shop til you drop, and most importantly, to overindulge.
december 18 // saturday
the ca1 party, organized by, yours truly... moi. it was so frustrating that we can't get ONE frickin' date for the party, so we just decided to have it on the 18th, exactly a week ago. as usual, we had it at greenbelt since that's the most convenient place to dine out. so we did, we ate at cafe bola (again!!!!). not a lot of people made it, but frankly speaking, i preferred it that way. it is selfish to say, but having the entire class come in one event is like trying to hoard a school of fish in one net. what's important is that the people important to ME came, and that means a lot already. jabs, claire, del, gabs, jenny, sarah, rico, nico, and fifi made it to dinner. we were thinking of what to do after, there were SO many people at greenbelt that saturday night. we decided to go karaoke-ing and had it at red box. i haven't been there before, and it's such a great place! we were there singing our lungs out from about past 10pm, up to 2am. em made it there, and around midnight, jason came along! we haven't seen him for so long, it was so nice to finally see him again! and it was a good thing he was there at greenbelt, i didn't have his number so i couldn't tell him about the party. so there, really tired after, got home at around 4am. whew. talk about serious all-nighters. still, greenbelt was very much alive during that time.
december 20 // monday
monday night, i had dinner with june and libby at italianni's. after so looong, i was able to eat there again! i love italianni's so much. anyways, i haven't seen libby for ages, so it was good to catch up with her. it's so impossible to get a hold of her when classes are on, she's practically getting eaten up by her law books. and tep dropped by! libby and i haven't seen her since graduation! she worked somewhere in makati at a call center, so she was able to hangout at greenbelt for a while. i am so amazed that i still had money after that dinner, i seriously thought after last saturday, i would be on all fours begging for money. so there, hung out at seattle's best. had my FAVORITE strawberry milkshake... it's soooo good. it was getting late, and i had work the next day (our last day before christmas break comes in) so at around 11, we called it a night. yum yum, i just love pigging out.
december 21 // tuesday
our last day of work. we were gonna have our christmas party that night, plus knowing we were gonna have our breaks, spirits were up the entire day. bash and i decided to go there first to find us a table already, there were supposedly plenty of us there, us 6 plus dates. well ok, i didn't have any (grrrr...) but they all had. and guess where we had dinner! surprise surprise... italianni's! i was trying not to eat too much, carbo-festing again and all. maxie was there too, as bash's date of course. after dinner, we played mini-golf at the fort, my first time to play golf. haha it was so fun! we were playing against each other, the "breeders" as what they called us straight people, versus the gay men. i had no idea we were playing for so long, because we ended at around 1am already! bash, marko and i still have no gifts for the bosses, but we thought of having a caricature done of them, so at that very ungodly hour, bash and i had to go back to the office to get pictures of them printed out. imagine that. got home before 3am, and was so tired like hell.
december 22 // wednesday
my first off. i feel like i'm back in school, having my christmas break too. today though, we were all excited at home because my dad's arriving today! i can't wait! christmas is gonna be so fun! we were at the airport by 4pm, he was arriving at 430 something. i brought a book with me, i'm currently reading the da vinci code, and it's just SOOOO amazing. i am blown away, i'm having difficulty putting the book down when i start reading. so there, as we were waiting, at least i get to do something. good thing he arrived on time, the last time he went home (for my lola's funeral last february), his flight was really delayed, my mom and i waited for him for like, an hour. so there, happy family again this christmas!
december 23 // thursday
i met myra this afternoon to give my gift to her at robinson's galleria, because that's literally where her office is. and i had to do some really last minute shopping, i still had no gift for my dad and my sister. i was looking through the tiangge section called 50th avenue, and for some strange reason, i actually had no idea what to give! and this is my sister i'm talking about, i could take a look at one store and know exactly what she would've wanted, but that day, i was just... blank. i ended up buying her earrings instead, and for my dad, a shirt. myra treated me to dinner at chef d'angelo and had salad each, and it's cool that i'm sticking to my diet plan, which i hope i'll be able to keep until next year rolls in. the no-carb atkins diet. and i'm also starting to work out again, because really, i CANNOT take the flabs anymore! and apparently, sarah and rico are planning a galera outing sometime in january so there, really have to keep fit to be able to work it at the beach! there, after dinner, we couldn't stay for long... aside from the humongous throng of people doing their own last-minute shoppings, myra had to fly all the way to valenzuela, and i to manila. finally! my christmas list is done!
december 24 // friday
the entire clan went to duty free today. i was kinda hesitant to buy chocolates since chockies always instigate zits, but what the heck! ooohh and that's a lotta sugar too... hmm so i'm really fighting the urge not to eat too much. after duty free, we drove all the way to quezon city to meet up with my dad's co-worker's wife (ok give you 20 seconds to figure that out) to give her some stuff from her husband, including a dozen roses that we had to buy first at dangwa. when we got home, i was so sleepy so i decided to take a nap, just to energize myself for the night ahead.
my gosh, i can't believe it's almost here. it's only hours away, and still i'm having trouble trying to have a feel of it. and this is the only thing i've been waiting for the entire year, but now it's practically on my face, i still can't see it. it's just sad. i wonder if it's true what they say, how as you get older, you feel the season less and less. do you have to be a kid just to know it's there?
hoo-how, i guess christmas won't always be for everyone. there will always come a time when it'll just pass you by, just like that.
10 December 2004
samantha welsh
... was my 10-year-old second cousin who i have never met. she was the daughter of tita pichi, my mom's cousin who migrated to the states even before my mom got married and had kids. so in short, i haven't met these people at all. but the past few years, my mom started to get in touch with tita pichy, and her other cousins in the states through the magic of the internet connection and electronic mail. it never really affected my life in any way knowing that i have long-lost relatives in america, because it's not like these people actually changed anything drastucally in my life. it's just nice to know there are actually people i'm related to living that far away. in fact, the first thing that came to my mind was "cool. now i know people who i can stay with if i do go to america." selfish me.
every year, i started getting birthday and christmas cards from the welshes (well, from tita pichi and sam mostly), and if we were lucky, we'd get extra 5 bucks as gifts (either as birthday or christmas presents). at the end of every note, it would also be signed by samantha in her still illegible, 2nd grade penmanship. i thought it was so sweet of her to be so involved with relatives whom she has only met through handwriting. but hearing stories about her from my mom sounded like sam was the ideal daughter, she was doing great in school, she was already very much oriented in sports (she was an aspiring equestrian), the arts, geography (i remember a time she spent summer touring europe and staying in germany and would send us postcards from there... lucky kid!), and she had always wanted to set foot on the philippines one day to explore part of her roots, she was always been doing really good academically. in general, it always seemed like she was such a good girl.
WAS.
my mom broke the news to me in the oddest way though, as she was stretched on the floor doing her daily morning work-out. the way she started it by saying "may bad news ako..." top-of-mind thought was that one of the dogs in the compound died or something, followed by the possibility of my brother running away from home, or worst-case scenario, stopping school and eloping with his girlfriend. but it was none of that. it was something else i wouldn't have imagined ever.
samantha welsh died the morning of december 8, 2004 (ohio time) at the age of 10, apparently while she was feeding the horses in the barn after breakfast. it isn't confirmed if she fell off the horse or if she was kicked by one. either way, she was found unconscious on the ground and was DOA by the time she was rushed to the hospital. it was much too tragic to hear, and i lost my train of thought for a good 2 minutes. as if some broken record, i kept asking the same question... "si sam? sam anak ni tita pichi? sam na bata? sam? anak ni tita pichi?" ironically, the latest christmas card samantha sent my mom had a horse on the cover, which arrived in the mail a few days before her death. i couldn't piece it out. she was young. she couldn't die. young people can't die. that's always been how i see it. the youth are invincible. sam was perfect, and just like that, she's gone? i'm still feeling incredulously surprised about the whole thing, mainly because it's things like that that scare the shit out of me. imagine going through your daily routine one morning, and in just a snap, everything makes a complete turn, and it's NEVER gonna be the same. i can't imagine how tita pichi must be feeling right now. what's worse is that sam was her only daughter. she has a stepson from tito michael's previous marriage, but sam was her one and only offspring. i will probably never understand the depths of a mother's love until i become one, but i'm pretty sure it's enormously, heartbreakingly hard to deal with the loss of your own child. the way my life has been going, i have been lucky enough that aside from one very close relative (lola zeny), two great-grandmothers and others who i've never really known, the only deaths i've had to deal with and which has affected me as much were the deaths of my beloved dogs through the years.
it just feels depressing. we still have yet to meet her; up until her death, she only existed to me in handwritings and yearbook pictures that she sent us, toothless grins and all. and it's nice that we were part of her life in some way, she never ever forgot to send us something for special occasions. i'm guessing it was mostly tita pichi's influence, but the fact that she was so involved with it makes it even more hearfelt. it got me thinking last night, why do the really worthy people leave this planet sooner? why is God leaving the world with all the worthless, scumbag ones? (yeah i'm speaking for myself too) samantha could've been a really great individual when she grows up, she could've made a difference. i pictured her as one of those do-gooders who would finish high school with honors, would go to one of those Ivy League U's, make it BIG with her career when she gets older, get married, be the perfect wife, perfect mother, and would still remain to be the perfect daughter that she's always been. it wasn't far from happening.
well, now it is.
... was my 10-year-old second cousin who i have never met. she was the daughter of tita pichi, my mom's cousin who migrated to the states even before my mom got married and had kids. so in short, i haven't met these people at all. but the past few years, my mom started to get in touch with tita pichy, and her other cousins in the states through the magic of the internet connection and electronic mail. it never really affected my life in any way knowing that i have long-lost relatives in america, because it's not like these people actually changed anything drastucally in my life. it's just nice to know there are actually people i'm related to living that far away. in fact, the first thing that came to my mind was "cool. now i know people who i can stay with if i do go to america." selfish me.
every year, i started getting birthday and christmas cards from the welshes (well, from tita pichi and sam mostly), and if we were lucky, we'd get extra 5 bucks as gifts (either as birthday or christmas presents). at the end of every note, it would also be signed by samantha in her still illegible, 2nd grade penmanship. i thought it was so sweet of her to be so involved with relatives whom she has only met through handwriting. but hearing stories about her from my mom sounded like sam was the ideal daughter, she was doing great in school, she was already very much oriented in sports (she was an aspiring equestrian), the arts, geography (i remember a time she spent summer touring europe and staying in germany and would send us postcards from there... lucky kid!), and she had always wanted to set foot on the philippines one day to explore part of her roots, she was always been doing really good academically. in general, it always seemed like she was such a good girl.
WAS.
my mom broke the news to me in the oddest way though, as she was stretched on the floor doing her daily morning work-out. the way she started it by saying "may bad news ako..." top-of-mind thought was that one of the dogs in the compound died or something, followed by the possibility of my brother running away from home, or worst-case scenario, stopping school and eloping with his girlfriend. but it was none of that. it was something else i wouldn't have imagined ever.
samantha welsh died the morning of december 8, 2004 (ohio time) at the age of 10, apparently while she was feeding the horses in the barn after breakfast. it isn't confirmed if she fell off the horse or if she was kicked by one. either way, she was found unconscious on the ground and was DOA by the time she was rushed to the hospital. it was much too tragic to hear, and i lost my train of thought for a good 2 minutes. as if some broken record, i kept asking the same question... "si sam? sam anak ni tita pichi? sam na bata? sam? anak ni tita pichi?" ironically, the latest christmas card samantha sent my mom had a horse on the cover, which arrived in the mail a few days before her death. i couldn't piece it out. she was young. she couldn't die. young people can't die. that's always been how i see it. the youth are invincible. sam was perfect, and just like that, she's gone? i'm still feeling incredulously surprised about the whole thing, mainly because it's things like that that scare the shit out of me. imagine going through your daily routine one morning, and in just a snap, everything makes a complete turn, and it's NEVER gonna be the same. i can't imagine how tita pichi must be feeling right now. what's worse is that sam was her only daughter. she has a stepson from tito michael's previous marriage, but sam was her one and only offspring. i will probably never understand the depths of a mother's love until i become one, but i'm pretty sure it's enormously, heartbreakingly hard to deal with the loss of your own child. the way my life has been going, i have been lucky enough that aside from one very close relative (lola zeny), two great-grandmothers and others who i've never really known, the only deaths i've had to deal with and which has affected me as much were the deaths of my beloved dogs through the years.
it just feels depressing. we still have yet to meet her; up until her death, she only existed to me in handwritings and yearbook pictures that she sent us, toothless grins and all. and it's nice that we were part of her life in some way, she never ever forgot to send us something for special occasions. i'm guessing it was mostly tita pichi's influence, but the fact that she was so involved with it makes it even more hearfelt. it got me thinking last night, why do the really worthy people leave this planet sooner? why is God leaving the world with all the worthless, scumbag ones? (yeah i'm speaking for myself too) samantha could've been a really great individual when she grows up, she could've made a difference. i pictured her as one of those do-gooders who would finish high school with honors, would go to one of those Ivy League U's, make it BIG with her career when she gets older, get married, be the perfect wife, perfect mother, and would still remain to be the perfect daughter that she's always been. it wasn't far from happening.
well, now it is.
04 December 2004
i love you, i always have, and i always will
i feel a bit better already. it's saturday, and yeah, this is usually my time of the week. my day yesterday actually ended quite well. my mom got home about 4 already, so yeah, i totally missed meeting up with june, it was much too late. i thought i was gonna bum my entire friday, because my date with the gurps (del, jenny and claire) was cancelled that morning due to the non-existent storm. i got some good news though, myra got hired in summit!! i was waayy so happy for her, and summit is really a cool company (from all the magazines they publish and events they throw, i wouldn't mind working there either.) she starts monday so yey! at least my angelic prowess is working on others. i called her up to congratulate her and just... burn each other's phone lines like we always do. at about 6pm, jenny called and was making me come down to makati to meet up because apparently, all 3 of them were there! coincidentally speaking, they all sorta bumped into each other, so they thought it was ok to push the gimmick through since the weather cleared up already. which means i had to move like the flash to dress and make myself up and head all the way to greenbelt. got there at 7:30, we caught bridget jones first, then hung out at seattle's best until midnight. see, my day wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be, thank God. REALLY. it's just funny because all we talked about at seattle's best was about love love love... or lack thereof. it's even funny that we were all singletons watching bridget jones, picturing yet another non-existent dreamguy like mark darcy who could possibly be somewhere in the same universe as we are proved to be really depressing.
today, i met up with myra first thing in the morning at robinson's place to watch bridget jones again. i just feel right watching that kind of movie with my single girl friends. we ate first, and as per our mandatory conversations, talked about he-who-must-be-named. hahaha sorry i can't help it, or rather, WE can't help it. you can never go against 2 girls head-over-heels crazily adoring the same *existent, but obviously unattainable* guy. after the movie, i was craving for sweets (can you say SUGARLOADER?) so we had a doughnut at go nuts donuts *yum, strawberry glazed!* and after, bought this month's issue of seventeen because it's he-who-must-be-named on the cover. oh gawd we are a couple of teenyboppers!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
so what, we're single anyway. geezus that didn't make sense at all.
i love tonight's episode of sex and the city. miranda has a life-changing realization while looking into a possible house in brooklyn that she didn't want to move into *apparently, manhattanites don't reside outside the city, especially not in places like brooklyn, or queens, etc.* but since she has to raise a family now, has no choice but to oblige. as steve tells her "it's not about you now. ... we're a family." she goes: "OMIGOD. I'M MARRIED." and smith!!! since samantha has cancer now and is starting to lose hair from chemo, considered having her hair shaven off. and as she was doing so in the bathroom before smith's movie premiere, smith comes in and catches her. and what did smith do?
he shaves off his head as well. gawd i swear, you can never find guys like these anymore. they're nothing but a figment of a single female TV writer's imagination. *sigh*
i feel a bit better already. it's saturday, and yeah, this is usually my time of the week. my day yesterday actually ended quite well. my mom got home about 4 already, so yeah, i totally missed meeting up with june, it was much too late. i thought i was gonna bum my entire friday, because my date with the gurps (del, jenny and claire) was cancelled that morning due to the non-existent storm. i got some good news though, myra got hired in summit!! i was waayy so happy for her, and summit is really a cool company (from all the magazines they publish and events they throw, i wouldn't mind working there either.) she starts monday so yey! at least my angelic prowess is working on others. i called her up to congratulate her and just... burn each other's phone lines like we always do. at about 6pm, jenny called and was making me come down to makati to meet up because apparently, all 3 of them were there! coincidentally speaking, they all sorta bumped into each other, so they thought it was ok to push the gimmick through since the weather cleared up already. which means i had to move like the flash to dress and make myself up and head all the way to greenbelt. got there at 7:30, we caught bridget jones first, then hung out at seattle's best until midnight. see, my day wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be, thank God. REALLY. it's just funny because all we talked about at seattle's best was about love love love... or lack thereof. it's even funny that we were all singletons watching bridget jones, picturing yet another non-existent dreamguy like mark darcy who could possibly be somewhere in the same universe as we are proved to be really depressing.
today, i met up with myra first thing in the morning at robinson's place to watch bridget jones again. i just feel right watching that kind of movie with my single girl friends. we ate first, and as per our mandatory conversations, talked about he-who-must-be-named. hahaha sorry i can't help it, or rather, WE can't help it. you can never go against 2 girls head-over-heels crazily adoring the same *existent, but obviously unattainable* guy. after the movie, i was craving for sweets (can you say SUGARLOADER?) so we had a doughnut at go nuts donuts *yum, strawberry glazed!* and after, bought this month's issue of seventeen because it's he-who-must-be-named on the cover. oh gawd we are a couple of teenyboppers!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
so what, we're single anyway. geezus that didn't make sense at all.
i love tonight's episode of sex and the city. miranda has a life-changing realization while looking into a possible house in brooklyn that she didn't want to move into *apparently, manhattanites don't reside outside the city, especially not in places like brooklyn, or queens, etc.* but since she has to raise a family now, has no choice but to oblige. as steve tells her "it's not about you now. ... we're a family." she goes: "OMIGOD. I'M MARRIED." and smith!!! since samantha has cancer now and is starting to lose hair from chemo, considered having her hair shaven off. and as she was doing so in the bathroom before smith's movie premiere, smith comes in and catches her. and what did smith do?
he shaves off his head as well. gawd i swear, you can never find guys like these anymore. they're nothing but a figment of a single female TV writer's imagination. *sigh*
03 December 2004
today is just SO wrong. my boss texted me last night not to go to work anymore, apparently because of the super storm, but come this morning, everything is so sunshiny already. it kinda ticked missing work, i feel like there's a MILLION things to accomplish, and here we are, at home, supposedly to shield ourselves from the raging typhoon, but where is it? i'm not really complaining, i'm glad it's gone! i just feel like the day was completely wasted.
i know i could've gone to work, but it was much too late when i realized that i should have (i was still thinking it was gonna pour this afternoon) but it didn't, so i just got myself a complete day-off, so to speak. *sigh* but yeah, i still called the office and got instructions to finish some stuff (although that meant having to deal with stuck-up corporate bitches who wouldn't give you the time of day... i mean c'mon we're all doing business here!). so that kinda made me feel bad.
and to top all the wrongness of this day, i was supposed to meet june at 3 this afternoon in galleria. i was all ready at about past 2, and when i was about to get money (i got my pay already and allowance and everything) but the thing is, i always let my mom keep it, just because i'm SO lousy when keeping my own money. and besides, she'd always keep it in a cashbox that i know the combination of, anyway. so i was about to go, when i couldn't open the cashbox. i called my mom to ask her how to get my money when she told me she stored it somewhere else locked and she got the key (she was in a hospital with my grandma), and so i had no choice but to NOT go. i felt sooo stuck. first the deal i was supposed to close with SMART that i just can't CAN'T do (because stupid contact bitch is oh-s0-busy to read proposal i sent her). argh. i swear pleaaase not today, i can't afford to break down and piece out my sorry life at this moment. it's fuckin' christmas and i'm supposed to be all giddy, that's always the routine. gawrsh.
it's a long weekend and i should be happy about it but for some reason, i'm really miserable! why can't i be the girl i always daydream about? that successful chick who LOVES what she's doing, is beautiful, wanted, and totally in control of her life? if i can only make a living fantasizing about different things, i'd be a millionnaire by now.
i know i could've gone to work, but it was much too late when i realized that i should have (i was still thinking it was gonna pour this afternoon) but it didn't, so i just got myself a complete day-off, so to speak. *sigh* but yeah, i still called the office and got instructions to finish some stuff (although that meant having to deal with stuck-up corporate bitches who wouldn't give you the time of day... i mean c'mon we're all doing business here!). so that kinda made me feel bad.
and to top all the wrongness of this day, i was supposed to meet june at 3 this afternoon in galleria. i was all ready at about past 2, and when i was about to get money (i got my pay already and allowance and everything) but the thing is, i always let my mom keep it, just because i'm SO lousy when keeping my own money. and besides, she'd always keep it in a cashbox that i know the combination of, anyway. so i was about to go, when i couldn't open the cashbox. i called my mom to ask her how to get my money when she told me she stored it somewhere else locked and she got the key (she was in a hospital with my grandma), and so i had no choice but to NOT go. i felt sooo stuck. first the deal i was supposed to close with SMART that i just can't CAN'T do (because stupid contact bitch is oh-s0-busy to read proposal i sent her). argh. i swear pleaaase not today, i can't afford to break down and piece out my sorry life at this moment. it's fuckin' christmas and i'm supposed to be all giddy, that's always the routine. gawrsh.
it's a long weekend and i should be happy about it but for some reason, i'm really miserable! why can't i be the girl i always daydream about? that successful chick who LOVES what she's doing, is beautiful, wanted, and totally in control of her life? if i can only make a living fantasizing about different things, i'd be a millionnaire by now.
02 December 2004
i had the weirdest dream last night.... that guy above was in it. (i know myra, this is really starting to get pathetic...) and he had that same gorgeous, heart-melting smile in my dream. it's just soooo weird, i knew it was all a dream, and i was actually stopping myself from waking up, saying it has to be real, if i open my eyes, everything will be gone. geezus, i woke up not knowing if i should be happy or force myself to go back to sleep, maybe the dream would resume. but it didn't, i had a different dream, this time i was pregnant. OH MAN.
i feel sick. just looking at someone so gorgeous, i almost feel like throwing up.
there has been a LOT going on, i just haven't found time to write about them here. like sarah's party way back 2 sundays ago, or my escapade with sarah and rico sometime last week. it's just been really crazy sometimes, i wonder if i'm actually doing the right thing, or inviting trouble, or both.
anyways, very recently speaking, i met up with some of the girls last night at greenbelt after work. claire just got back from bicol (she got bronchitis for a while), and still very much heartbroken about last relationship. del and jenny were also there. i had to bring our latest talent/model/officemate max with me just because she was getting bored at the office and had to wait for JP to finish stuff (they sorta live in the same place), which usually takes forever so i decided to just invite her, and perhaps her boyfriend micah (yeah we have the same name) would come over. so she did, and eventually, boyf came, and so after dinner (we were sooo in a tight budget... imagine starving girls trying to buy a below-100-peso dinner at greenbelt. some challenge, huh?), max and micah zoomed off to tralala, while us gurps stayed and talked some more. had coffee at starbucks after, they're giving out a track card for a limited 2005 planner. daym i'm gonna have to drink more coffee for this.
so there, talked a LOT, ended at around midnight, and realized there was work tomorrow so we decided to call it a night. we're supposed to meet up again tomorrow night to catch bridget jones' diary: the edge of reason, but apparently, the storm wouldn't allow us to. work was actually suspended today, so it was all good. at least i wasn't caught in the middle of the gusty winds and whatnot and didn't have trouble going home.
it's cold (brrrrr). *sigh* great dream. wouldn't mind sleeping for the rest of my life if i dreamt like that everytime. teehee *
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